


A Fishing Rod in Hand is Worth 2 in System Memory

by Tachvintlogic



Series: System Memory and Adjacent [1]
Category: Linked Universe - Fandom, The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms
Genre: Actor Duping, Attempt at Humor, Autistic Character, Fishing, Game Crash, Gen, Glitches, Infinite Sword Glitch, Item Duplication, Item Sliding, Linked Universe (Legend of Zelda), Selectively Mute Link (Legend of Zelda), Superslide, Video Game Mechanics, WindBombs, softlock, speedrun
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:00:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26094544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tachvintlogic/pseuds/Tachvintlogic
Summary: The ability to break reality and all common sense is unique among the heroes of courage. Those granted wisdom are wise enough to know the risk and choose not do regardless of whether they know how. Those granted power are too cowardly to capitalize on it. Thus, only those granted courage have the reckless abandon to take the plunge, clipping through walls and saving the day in under an hour. This is a story about those heroes.ORThe Links know about glitches. Hijinks ensue.
Series: System Memory and Adjacent [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2057529
Comments: 56
Kudos: 371





	1. Actor Duping

Wild is a great cook, it’s just his seafood is… well there was always something off about the fish whenever Wild caught it. And Time just found out why.

He had been looking forward to some ancestor-descendant bonding with the boys by doing some fishing that evening. Only Twilight, Legend, and Wind had fishing rods and knew how to use them (though Legend claimed he learned in a dream). Wild had told them he also knew how to fish, and he was the cook, so he tagged along as well. But then he pulled out a bomb, and well, that’s just not how you’re supposed to do it. 

“Wild, please, you’re going to scare away all the fish trying to catch them like that,” said Time, his hand outstretched as if to block the bomb Wild was holding from the lake. 

“Well how else am I supposed to catch fish?” Wild asked.

“Um… with a fishing rod?” suggested Legend, sounding a little panicked.

“Yeah, you have to use bait too. I’ve gone plenty of that with me. Using bombs just wastes a perfectly good bomb!” shouted Wind.

Wild chuckled, and thankfully put the explosive away. “Well, unlike you, I have an infinite supply of bombs. So how are you supposed to fish? With those sticks?”

“Yeah, actually,” said Twilight. He patted Wild on the shoulder. “Don’t worry, I’ll get you a fishing rod and we’ll teach you how to fish the regular way. Just let me get it for you.”

“Uh, okay.”

Twilight put away his fishing rod and pulled out his horse whistle to call Epona. It didn’t matter where they were, (as long as it wasn’t a dungeon) that horse could find them. It didn’t matter if there was no possible path she could have taken to get there; she would do it. Just like Time’s old Epona before she retired. Twilight climbed on Epona and pulled out his fishing rod at the same time. He then got off Epona and pulled out another fishing rod and handed it to Wild.

“I didn’t know you had two this whole time,” said Time.

“I don’t.”

That got him some strange looks.

“Then what’s this?” asked Wild, eyeing his new rod with suspicion.

“And why did you get on your horse first?” asked Legend.

“That,” Twilight pointed to the rod in Wild’s hand, “is my actual fishing rod. This,” pointing to the one in his right hand, “is a duplicated actor. Don’t ask why it’s called that. It happens when I get off Epona and try to put it away at the same time. It’ll disappear once we leave the area.”

“Wait so you can clone your items? That’s awesome! I can do that to but only with my grandma’s soup.” said Wind.

“Well, it only works with the fishing rod. It’s the only item where it’s actually useful.”

“I’ve never duplicated a fishing rod, but I did once turn one into a bottle,” added Time.

“Woah, are you serious? If Twilight can duplicate rods and Time can turn rods into bottles,” Legend’s smile turned mischievous, “then we could carry as many fairies and potions as we want!”

“I don’t think that would work. A duped actor ain’t like the real thing.”

“That’s weird. Duplicated soup is always identical to the original.”

“I’ve duped other items and they are the exact same as the original,” said Legend. 

“Was that also in a dream?” asked Time.

“Yes and no, actually. That was a dream and my second time saving Hyrule. Though the methods in each case were very different.”

“Okay, are we going to catch dinner or not?” yelled Wild, who was tired of the current conversation.

“Yes, let’s do that,” said Twilight, also tired of the conversation.

“Alright! Finally! See if this no bombs method is actually worth it.”

They settled down with their rods and started fishing. Time settled down in the middle, with Legend and Wind on one side and Twilight and Wild on the another. 

Twilight’s fake rod worked, even though he admitted it probably shouldn’t have. Wild didn’t understand why Twilight thought that but didn’t question it. After all, he had plenty of experience duplicating items and they all worked just fine. 

“This is very boring compared to my method.”

“Don’t worry, you don’t usually have to wait very long. Keep an eye on your line. It looks like something’s interested in it. Once more than half the bobber is underwater, you know something took the bait.”

Right on cue, Wild felt a tug as something pulled him forward.

“Something's pulling it! What now?!”

“Just hold the rod up and reel it in.”

He started pulling up, but it was too late. The line had already gone slack.

“It got away.”

“Don’t worry. Pull the line in and I’ll rebait it. Once a fish is on the line, wait about a second for the hook to secure itself and then just hold the rod up and reel in. As long as you don’t let up you’ll have a fish in no time.”

“It’s more complicated than that!” retorted Legend, leaning over to look past Time and Wind, “First you have to maneuver the hook in front of the fish, then once it bites you have to reel it in only when it’s facing you. If the fish is trying to swim away, you have to slow down, or the line will break.”

“No that’s not how you fish at all!” argued Wind, “Once you have the fish on the line, you have to alternative between reeling it in and pulling up the rod opposite the direction the fish is headed. If you don’t pull up on the rod and just keeping reeling in, the fish will free itself from the hook. If the fish jumps out of the water, then you have to stop pulling up and reeling it in or it’ll get away.”

“What are you talking about? The fish never jumps out of the water. Unless it’s a Blooper,” said Legend.

“Yeah, that only happens using the Lure Fishing Rod. This is a Bobber, which is a lot easier to fish with,” said Twilight.

“Boys, I’m sure that Twilight’s instruction is perfectly adequate. Wild is using his fishing rod after all.” Time paused. “Although, you should have to angle the rod in the direction the fish is going and stop doing anything when the fish jumps.”

“Nope, I’ve never had to do that and the fish don’t jump,” insisted Twilight.

“Well I have, that’s 2 out of 4. But the rod has to be angled in the opposite direction the fish moves, not the same direction.” retorted Wind.

“Uh, guys?” Everyone turned to Wild, who was already holding a 15in long Hyrule Bass in his hand. “Caught this while you were arguing.”

“Well it looks like there was nothing to worry about!” Time chuckled. “Put that in the water bucket. That one’s big enough to keep.”

They congratulate Wild on his catch and he the fish in the bucket of water they had set up. They were going to just put the fish in inventory, but they found a large bucket on their way to the lake and decided to use that instead.

Twilight pats him on the back. “Told you it wouldn’t take long.”

“Bombs are still more efficient.”

“Speaking of…” Twilight started reeling his own rod, getting a Hylian Pike.

“That was fast,” said Wind.

“Yeah, I saw that fish go straight for your rod immediately. The hook wasn’t even in the fish’s face.”

“How do you know that, Legend?” asked Time.

“You know how during your adventures, sometimes you see out of your eyes and sometimes you see out of a point that's a bit above you?”

“Thought I was the only one,” muttered Wild. Twilight and Time nodded, as they also knew what Legend was talking about. Wind would have nodded too, but he was preoccupied as a fish had decided to take the bait. He was standing up further back, alternating between moving the rod side to side and reeling it in.

“Well, when I fish, I get a view of myself and under the water directly in front of me, so I can see exactly where my hook and the fish are. That pike was close to me but went straight for your rod once it was in the water.”

“Explains why you were going on about maneuvering the hook,” said Twilight.

“So you guys just see the surface of the water?”

“Yes! I caught one! What were you guys talking about?” exclaimed Wind, holding his fish for all to see.

Time laughed. “Oh it’s nothing, just about Legend’s unique perspective when fishing. I get a more zoomed in view of the hook myself.”

“Well, this means it’s just me and the old man who haven’t caught anything,” said Legend, changing the subject as Wind put his fish in the bucket.

“We’ll see about that,” said Time, casting his line into the water.

“Oh you’re on!” said Legend, casting his line as well.

“I caught another! This is ea—oh.” On Wild’s hook was not a fish, but a soggy brown boot.

Twilight laughed, “That happens sometimes. May want to dispose of that, boots don’t belong in the river.”

“Where does it go after I dispose of it?”

“It just kinda, disappears? Not sure.”

A fish near Time started flopping out of the water and then disappeared into the lake. “Damn!” shouted Time, “I almost had a big one.” He cast the line out in the same place.

“Ha! Looks like I’m going to get a fish first—"

Legend’s taunting expression vanished as the group heard a snapping sound coming from his line.

“Damn it! It got away! And it was a big one too!”

Legend cast again, going for the same fish, ignoring the sounds around him. It was already close enough to the surface, and if he could reel it in quickly, he would definitely win. The hook floated in front of the fish’s face. It grabbed hold and he started reeling in, pulling back so hard he bent back 90°. Just before reaching the surface the fish got other ideas and starting swimming away. He switched gears, easing up enough that the fish wouldn’t get away, but not so much it would get too far and he’d lose all his progress. The fish quickly tired, and he had his chance, wasting no time to reel back as fast as possible. Closer, closer, and then with a splash, it was in Legend’s hands. He turned with a smirk, only to see Time, holding his own fish. 

“WHAT?! How did you get a fish before me?”

“They love the sinking lure,” said Time, with that damn smile he made when he was clearly messing with them.

“Better luck next time, matey” Wind gave Legend a good-natured punch in the arm.

“Heh, ‘time’” said Time.

“Uh, Twi? I got a wheel this time.”

“So? get rid of it.”

“But I think I could use it as a shield.”

“That’s a terrible idea,” interjected Legend.

“Hey, I’ve surfed down a mountain on a pot lid. I can use a wheel as a shield.”

“I don’t think it’s possible to not dispose of, though I’ve never tried.”

“I’m going to try.” Wild tried to grab the wheel and put it in his Slate, but it had already vanished. It was not in the overworld or his inventory. It simply vanished.

“It’s gone.”

Twilight gave him a good-natured nudge. “Told ya.”

In just an hour the 5 heroes with unusually incredible luck at fishing catch enough to feed their entire group for weeks. Wild gave Twilight his real fishing rod back, and they packed up the fish in Wild’s slate after freezing them. Tonight’s dinner was still alive in the bucket, which Time volunteered to carry. Camp was some ways away in what Warriors insisted was a more defensible position.

Wind smirked and moved next to Legend.

“I bet I can beat you to camp.”

“Oh really, against my Pegasus Boots?” Fat chance.”

“100 Rupees. I’ll even give you a head start.”

“Oh, you’re on.”

“Boys don’t—”

Before Time could finish, Legend had really taken off running.

“Those Pegasus boots are pretty fast,” said Twilight.

“Not fast enough, though.” Wind took out his grappling hook, and then… _ZOOOOM_ He was gone.

“Huh, that’s new,” said Wild.

Time sighed, “if you can’t beat them,” he smiled knowingly, and Twilight and Wild’s blood ran cold, “join ‘em.” Time turned around and cast a spell that made a blue diamond barrier form around him. He dropped a bomb and stood there until it went off. He was then sliding backwards, shimmying from side to side, and moving faster than his movements suggested. He looked ridiculous, but a Link does not care if he looks ridiculous.

Wild and Twilight looked at each other, and then at a large rock next to them. Twilight sighed and patted his horse. “Come on Epona, let’s try to catch up.” He didn’t have any strange ways of going faster than riding Epona. He got on his horse and rode as fast as he could as he heard Wild dropping two bombs in quick succession, and then an explosion. Wild was flying overhead, faster than what logic suggests should be possible.

Wind reached the camp first, followed by Legend, Wild, and Time. Twilight, riding on Epona with duped fishing rod still in hand, came last.

\------

Wild had set up a permanent campfire using a Flameblade dropped at the start of a swing, and cooked while the others talked about their catches. Wind had caught the largest fish, but Twilight caught the most fish (and the most trash).

That evening, Wild served everyone roasted bass and then sat next to Twilight. “Okay, I’ll admit this is the best roasted bass I’ve ever made. Minimizing the time between killing and cooking really makes a difference.” He paused. “And also not blowing them up.”

That got a laugh out of Twilight. “It’s nice to hear I somehow make your cooking even better. Next time we’re in my world, we can all go to Zora’s domain and catch ourselves a reekfish. It’s part of this soup I learned how to make after my adventure, and it’s worth completing a dungeon over.”

Twilight naturally moved his hands while talking, and Wild noticed there was still a fishing rod in Twilight’s right hand.

“Why are you still holding that thing?”

“Oh this?” said Twilight, as if he was only now noticing he was still holding a fishing rod. “Yeah, it’s stuck to my hand until we ‘leave the area’. See?” He opened his right hand which would have dropped the rod if duped actors cared about things like logic, gravity, or being tangible (not that the normal rod cared much about tangibility).

“That’s… not normal.”

“And neither is being able to fly that fast on your paraglider. Don’t worry, it’ll go away next time we enter a building. Probably. And it’s not tangible, so I can eat just fine.”

“Well, I am worried because it’s stuck to your hand. Besides, you’re always worrying about _me_. Why can’t I worry about _you_?”

“I worry about you because you have a death wish. I’m not dying, Wild.”

“Uh, Twilight can you put away your fishing rod? You’ve been holding it since you got back.” asked Warriors, interrupting Wild and Twilight’s argument.

“One, this isn’t my fishing rod, it’s a duped actor. And two, I can’t put it away, it’s stuck to my hand.” He demonstrated the actor’s anti-gravity properties.

“I’ve heard of duping. In one of my adventures, I was able to collect certain force gems over and over again so I could power up the Four Sword. I’ve never personally duped equipment through.”

“That’s freaky. How do you make it go away?” asked Hyrule.

“Usually when I enter a different area or go into a building.”

“Alright then,” Warriors clapped his hands once to get everyone’s attention, “first thing in the morning, we’re finding a town so Twilight can get that rod off his hand.”

“Y’all are making a bigger deal out of this than it really is.”

“Not really, how are you supposed to fight if you’re forced to hold a fishing rod in your hand?” said Sky.

“Um… with his other hand? You and Wild are the only right-handed people here. His left is still free.” said Legend.

“Really, I could’ve sworn Twilight was too…”

“Ambidextrous,” answered Twilight, “and I prefer my left, but even if I didn’t, it wouldn’t matter because again, it ain’t tangible. No one will even think it’s weird. Like how no one ever comments when my sword passed straight through them.”

“Like WHAT??” exclaimed Warriors. The other Links were surprised that Warriors didn't know about that. How could he not know?

Wind laughed. “What, so you’ve never stuck your sword in people you weren’t fighting? Like this. Watch.”

“What did you m—” Before anyone could react, Wind pulled out the phantom sword and thrust it right into Time’s belly. It phased right through him, like the sword’s hitbox failed to register it had contacted Time’s hitbox.

Everyone tensed, and someone let out a high-pitched yelp. _That was where the Hero’s Shade was wounded_ , thought Twilight. His old teacher was sliced in half right where Wind’s sword was. He quickly banished that train of thought to the back of his mind.

Time glared at Wind, “You shouldn’t do that. You can’t rely on that working all the time.”

Wind winced and put his sword away. “Yeah, but it didn’t.”

Warriors looked like he was going to have a heart attack. “I agree with Time. Please never do that again.”

“Why, so we will never hear your girlish scream again?”

“Shut it Legend.”

Sky hummed in thought. “The Master Sword would pass through most creatures that weren’t monsters. It would probably do the same for you guys, but I don’t think she likes that. It’s always the weirdest thing how no one ever reacts when you do that.”

“People don’t react to a lot of weird things. You could shapeshift right in front of someone and they’re act like nothing happened,” said Time.

Twilight frowned. That wasn’t his experience. He couldn’t transform in front of someone, not even if they knew his secret. Which was actually part of why he was keeping it a secret. If few people knew, no one would expect him to transform in front of the group.

“That’s wonderful,” said Warriors with a forced smile and a tone that made it sound not wonderful at all, “let’s never test that on other people, alright? Alright.”

“Alright, alright, alright.” Twilight drawled.

Warriors frowned, “I walked right into that one didn’t I?”

Hyrule laughed, “Oh you sure done did!” 

Warriors sighed. “Al—, I mean so, who wants to take first watch tonight?”

“Not me,” announced Twilight.

“I’ll do it then,” said Wild.

“Wow, that’s a first,” whispered Four, “And I’ll take second,” he said louder.

“I’ll tell y’all why later,” Twilight whispered back.

"Kay, now please move your hand so your fishing rod isn't in my face."

After dinner, the Links went to bed. Twilight lied down near the edge of camp next to Four because no one wanted the fishing rod in their face while they slept. (Which Twilight still didn’t get. It would just pass through them.) After everyone seemed to be asleep, Wild came over and sat next to him.

“So, why didn’t you want to take watch?” asked Wild.

Twilight rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, the rod doesn’t go away when I’m a wolf.”

Four raised an eyebrow. “Elaborate.”

“What can I say? It’s stuck on my hand even when I’m a wolf. It’ll make it really hard to explain if anyone sees a wolf with a fishing rod.”

“Can you show us?” asked Four.

“No.” 

“Oh come on. Please?” pleaded Wild, trying to do puppy dog eyes.

“I said no.”

“You’re no fun,” pouted Wild.

“I’m tired. Just let me go to sleep.”

“Fine,” Wild left to check his shock traps.

Twilight sighed and closed his eyes.

“You ever wonder how we can do impossible things?” whispered Four, who was not letting Twilight go to sleep (not that he minded _that_ much).

“Occasionally. I try not to.”

“Every adventure I had, I woke up and just… knew the most efficient route to do everything. Like on the day of one of my adventures, I knew that if I rolled twice to get to the smithing room in my house, threw one pot and rolled after it broke, rolled again 3 times, threw the second pot and rolled before it broke, and finally left and came back again to break the pots again really fast, then all 4 pots would each have a blue rupee.”

“That’s very specific.”

“Yeah, but how did I know that? I knew exactly where to go, but I didn’t know the reason why. I knew how to defeat Vaati before I knew he existed. But how? Is it some kind side effect of having the spirit of the hero?”

“Probably. No one else seems to be able to do the things we do. Not even Zelda.”

"Funny how the ability to do the impossible is something for the ones who represent courage instead of power or wisdom."

"Maybe the other two can, but they're just too cowardly to do it."

Four chuckled, “Maybe. But why are our abilities all different?”

“The time period? I don’t know. Probably should just sleep on it.”

“But—”

“Sleep,” Twilight commanded as he planted his left hand over Four’s eyes, “you have watch later. Rest now. Think later.”

Four chuckled and moved Twilight hand off him, “Fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you were wondering, the fishing is based on the controls of their respective games: Twilight Princess, Link’s Awakening (Switch Version), Phantom Hourglass, and Ocarina of Time.
> 
> I’ve always wanted to read more stories where video game logic is a prominent part of a story that isn’t completely crack. So, I’m now writing that story (though there will be attempts at comedy).
> 
> Correction: Wind comes from the HD version of the game, but from what I can tell soup duplication is only a thing in the original. So that's a continuity error.


	2. Actor Duping Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Links arrive in Ordon and learn of monsters in the area.

Twilight woke up to the smell of burning flesh. He jumped up and scanned his surroundings to find the source of the smell. Four, Hyrule and Legend were all already awake and not burning to death, so it wasn’t them. In the east, some monsters had tripped Wild’s shock traps. He had placed Thunderblades all around the camp the day before, dropping them at the start of a swing so they were always electrified. Then, he put something metal on top of them. Any enemy that could be shocked that was unfortunate enough to walk on it would be continuously shocked until it died.

That did not explain why they were on fire though.

“Why are the monsters on fire?” he asked Four.

“Oh, that wasn’t me. That was Hyrule.”

Legend nudged Hyrule. “Yeah, Hyrule why _are_ the monsters on fire?”

Hyrule shrugged. “They were dying so slowly, I wanted to put them out of their misery faster.”

Legend nodded sagely, “They seem very grateful,” he said as the monsters screamed in pain.

“Anything else happen while we were asleep?”

Four shook his head. “No, these guys showed up a few minutes ago. I woke up Hyrule and Legend so Hyrule and I could check if there were any more monsters coming from that direction while Legend kept watch. Fortunately, we didn’t find anything.”

“Well, that’s good, I guess,” said Twilight. Mentally, he thanked Wild for setting those traps, and vowed that he would never not take watch ever again. Unfortunately, he still couldn’t scout ahead as a wolf, since his fishing rod was still there. Sleeping must not count as a proper fade-in-fade-out transition. Oh well.

The others woke up soon after. First Time, then Wind who immediately woke up Wild so he could cook breakfast, and then Warriors who had to be convinced to not attack the trapped monsters lest the knockback end up freeing them.

Sky woke up just after sunrise just in time for some seafood rice balls. He always woke up at after sunrise. _Always_. It didn’t matter what was happening around him or what drastic measures the other Links had taken to try and wake him up; he would wake then and no sooner.

By the time breakfast was finished, only half of the monsters fell dead.

“That black blood sure is potent. Seriously, they should have died by now,” said Wild.

“Perhaps it ups their resistances to elemental damage. It’s a good thing we don’t have to fight them,” said Time, looking directly at Warriors.

“Sure isn’t doing ‘em much good now,” said Hyrule.

“So, when are we setting out?” asked Wind.

Everyone turned to their tactics guy, Warriors.

He cleared his throat. “Well, since those monsters came from the east, we should head that way. There may be more in that direction, and possibly a portal. We’ll set out once the monsters are dead just in case they free themselves.”

“And also so I can get my thunderblades back.”

“Yes, that too.”

“What about Twilight? He’s still got a rod stuck to his hand,” said Sky.

“Hopefully, that will go away when we reach a portal or the next town. Sorry Twilight.”

“It’s not a big deal,” said Twilight.

To pass the time, Wind, Four, Hyrule, and Warriors did some sparing practice while Legend refereed. While sparing, Warriors kept thinking about last night. How did he not notice that friendly fire wasn’t a thing? Battles were pretty chaotic, and yet he never once questioned why his attacks never harmed his follow soldiers. How could he be that unobservant? Thinking about how unobservant he was, fittingly, made him more unobservant. He lost his first match when he failed to counterattack Hyrule.

Meanwhile Wild was trying to convince Time to let him borrow the Biggoron sword for some durability transfer.

“Please??? I promise I won’t break it.”

“For the last time, no.”

Twilight wanted to get some sparing done too. He hadn’t done it in a while.

“Hey Sky, wanna spar?”

“Um… not right now.”

“Why not?”

“Well, because…” Sky glanced over to Twilight right hand.

“Really?”

“Well, I don’t want to spar an opponent at a disadvantage…”

“Sky.” He put his left hand on Sky’s shoulder. “It ain’t tangible and I ain’t at a disadvantage, and I don’t know why you think that.”

He sighed. “Okay fine. Let’s do it.”

“Hey Wild! Hand Sky a sword. We’re sparing.” Wild pulled 2 wooden swords out of his slate and handed them to Twilight before turning his attention back to Time.

Sky swung first, forcing Twilight to step back to block the hit. Sky moved forward to counter, circling his sword around for a downward strike which Twilight caught, forcing Sky back and Twilight forward to break Sky’s defense.

Sky blinked as Twilight and tried to counter his swing, but it was too late. Twilight’s swing forced the blade out of Sky’s hands.

“That was pretty sloppy by your standards. Wanna go again?”

“I can’t spar with you when you’re holding that rod. It’s too distracting.”

Twilight chuckled. “Ganondorf would've thought so too. What do you say about me being at a disadvantage?”

“I admit, I was wrong.”

They spared again, and he got another win before Sky finally got the hang of ignoring the fishing rod. Twilight didn’t mind though. Any wins against Sky in sparing were well worth the bragging rights.

Twilight got one more win when Sky was briefly distracted by the last of the monsters dying.

“Now that the monsters are all dead, everyone stop what you’re doing and start packing,” said Time.

“What if you were packing?” asked Wind.

“Then continue doing that.”

“What if you’re already packed?” asked Hyrule. Like most Links, he was usually already packed. It was easy since most items don’t take physical space when stored away.

“Then wait until everyone is done packing,” replied Time, who was waiting for everyone to be done packing.

“Wait, who are we even waiting for?” asked Four, who was already packed.

“ME!” yelled Wild as he picked up the last of the shock traps. “Okay, got everything. We can go now.”

Since all Links have infinite (or quickly recharging) stamina, there was no point in not moving optimally (though Links who could travel at superspeeds didn’t as a courtesy to those who lacked that kind of movement option). Wind, Twilight, and Four rolled. Wild, Warriors, Legend, and Hyrule sprinted. Sky alternated between running and a light jog. Time walked backwards as it was just as fast as rolling and let him check if they were being followed. Sky called out whenever Time needed to adjust his angle to avoid hitting something.

“I see monster tracks! Follow me!” said Warriors, not bothering to slow down. They continued running, rolling, and walking backwards after Warriors. They stopped once they reached a large black portal.

“The tracks coming from this portal lead back to camp, and there aren’t any other tracks besides those.”

“So are we going in or not?” asked Wild.

No one had any objections to this plan. So, with a reckless abandon typical of heroes, they all walked through the portal.

It took about 5 seconds for most of them to recover from the initial disorientation.

“So who’s Hyrule is this?” asked Time.

“I believe it’s mine,” said Twilight, “We’re near my home village. We can stop there for a while. After that I would suggest going to Castle Town. I have a source of infinite money there, so we can easily stock up on supplies.”

“Sweet. Infinite money would be nice right about now,” said Legend. Then he noticed Twilight’s hand. “Why is that still there? There’s no way we haven’t ‘left the area’ as you said.”

Twilight shrugged, “must not be the right kind of loading zone.”

The others nodded. It was so nice to be able to say things like ‘loading zone’ and not get weird looks.

“Since this is your Hyrule, we’ll probably run into the right kind of loading zone soon enough,” said Sky.

If by soon enough, Sky meant in the next 10 seconds, then he was absolutely correct. They restocked on fairies in the nearby spring and made it to just outside Ordon village, where they were met with 3 small children.

“LINK!!”

“Link! You’re back!” The blond boy hugged Twilight quickly followed by 2 others.

“Hey Colin. It’s good to see ya'll. Guys, this is ma little brother Colin,” He gestured to the other children, “and this is Beth and Talo.” Time noticed that Twilight “little brother” lacked the pointed ears typical of Hylians but choose not to comment on it. Warriors was annoyed because his accent got noticeably thicker.

“Who are you guys?” asked Beth.

“This is Warriors, Legend, Sky, Time, Hyrule, Wild, Wind, and Four.”

“Those are weird names,” said Talo.

“Well, they’re nicknames.”

“But what ‘er their real names?” he asked.

Twilight looked over at the 8 men standing with him. “Want to tell 'em?”

Warriors snickered and started first. “Well, my name is Link.”

“Gasp! It is?? Why, what a coincidence! My name is Link too!”

“My name is also Link. It’s nice to meet you.”

“I’m Link as well.”

“Link.”

“I’m Link, the one but not only.”

“Pirate quartermaster and engineer Link, at your service.”

“I’ll give you 3 guesses and the first two don’t count.”

Twilight laughed. “So y’all can see why the nicknames are important. What ‘er y’all doing playing outside my house?” asked Twilight. Behind him, Time looked at the treehouse overlooking the village entrance, just outside the village proper. He wanted to ask Twilight about it but decided to keep such comments to himself.

“Waiting for you to come back, obviously!” said Beth.

“Everyone missed you,” said Talo.

“Alright, alright. Y’all should probably go tell the village I’ve brought company okay?”

“Okay!” The children ran ahead.

They followed the kids into the village. It was quant and cozy with a stream, houses, and a pumpkin patch that reminded Sky of Skyloft. The background music was also cozy, but had a soft, melancholy feel to it. Near the entrance, there was a stall with a box, a sign, and 2 jars. One with red potion and the other was a yellow liquid many of the Links didn’t recognize. Perched above the jars was a small colorful bird.

“Hey! Welcome! Buy something!” squawked the bird.

“…Is that bird selling stuff?” asked Warriors.

“Yeah, that’s strange,” said Twilight, which Warriors thought was weird. Wasn’t this his Hyrule? Why is he surprised? “Trill’s shop was in North Faron last I checked. Something must’ve happened over there.” _Oh_ , Warriors thought, _well nevermind then_.

Legend was admiring the sight until he spotted the bane of his existence. “Twi, why are there Cuccos just _out and about_?” he hissed.

“Oh they’re not dangerous. Cuccos don’t attack you, but if you hit them enough you can take control of them for 10 seconds.”

“That sounds fake,” said Four.

“Oh no, you’re not going to trick me into getting attacked by the Cucco Revenge Squad,” said Legend.

“They’re not aggressive, really.”

“Oh yeah? Do you let Cuccos near other animals?” countered Legend.

“No, but that’s not why,” said Twilight, thinking about the time a baby chick wandered into the goat pen and was chased down and eaten.

“I believe you Twilight.”

“Thanks Wind.”

“Well if they were dangerous, he would be scared of them, so they’re probably not dangerous,” reasoned Hyrule.

“Or it’s a sign of insanity,” muttered Legend.

Rusl greeted him first, giving Twilight a big old bear hug. Rusl seemed a little wary of the 8 heavily armed men of various ages at first but was very happy that his “son” had made new friends. Time noted Rusl also lacked Hylian ears, but remained silent.

Fado came over next. “Link! It’s so great you’re back! The goats ain’t listenin’ to me!”

“Link just got back and you’re already puttin’ him to work? What kinda rancher are you unable to control yer own goats?” said Rusl.

“Well, the goats probably missed him too.”

Twilight laughed. “It’s fine, dad. I don’t mind helpin’. They probably do miss me. Can ya give my friends a tour of the village for me?”

“Course I can.”

Wild wanted to watch the goats as well, so he and Twilight followed Fado to the ranch and kept their complaints about his walking speed to themselves. Fado ranted about the goats all acting like Howards, not that he actually called them that. Fado was very confused when Twilight first called a goat a Howard, and Twilight honestly didn’t know where that term came from either.

“Now that the fake rod is gone, I can probably duplicate your actual fishing rod. My duped items are exact replicas of the real thing, so you won’t have to do that if we ever fish again.”

“Yeah, that’s a good idea,” said Twilight, trying to sound appreciative and not disappointed. He knew that Wild could duplicate items and had far more broken techniques than he ever had. Between his protégé and mentor, he had the least tricks up his sleeve.

“I wonder what its durability is.”

“You ain’t breaking my fishing rod.”

“I would never do such a thing.”

“You broke the Master Sword.”

“That doesn’t count. I knew it would reappear.”

“Sky didn’t.”

“What are y’all talking about?” asked Fado.

“Nothin’,” said Twilight.

“How do you stand his walking speed?” whispered Wild.

“My mom was pregnant twice. You either go crazy or get used to it,” he whispered back.

Meanwhile, Rusl gave the Links a tour of the village. There was a shop that sold fishing bait and goat milk. Time thought it wasn’t as good as milk from his ranch (and he was right on an objective standpoint). Next to that was small pond with fish, houses for all the residents, and a pumpkin patch. They were introduced to the other residents, such as the children’s parents, Rusl’s wife Uli and their daughter, the mayor, and Ilia. Though Ilia’s introduction was cut short when she found out that Epona and Twilight were at the ranch. The Links started to split up into whatever caught their interest.

Time talked to Uli about their baby girl, and as a person who planned to have kids someday, he wanted to know everything about taking care of a baby. Colin asked Four about swordplay, and Four obliged.

Jaggle, Talo’s father, talked to Sky about pumpkin growing. “So Skyloft is at a pretty high altitude, so when it gets really cold, we have to heat the ground around the pumpkin patches. Otherwise, they won’t mature.”

“Nights here don’t get cold enough to worry about stuff like that. Have you considered growing crops with better cold resistance? Carrots would probably work better than pumpkins.”

“We only grow pumpkins because it was one of the few edible plants that were available when the area was settled. Contact with the outside world is actually a recent development, and none of our neighbors are big on agriculture. If we wanted to grow any other plants, we would have to find them in the wild and domesticate them ourselves.”

As interesting as discussions on farming were, Warriors decided information about the whereabout of the black blood monsters was his first priority. The mayor would probably know more about that.

“So have there been any problems with monsters that are stronger than usual lately?”

“Yeah. There were some monsters up in North Faron. That bird came here after locking up the gate.”

“We can handle them. Do you have the key for the gate?”

“No. I think the bird has it.”

“Thank you for that information. We can take care of the monsters.”

“Is Link going to be leaving with you?”

“Yes. I assure you that Link will return home safely. All 9 of us are seasoned warriors, and we will all have his back.”

“And you especially?”

Warriors grinned sheepishly at the accidental pun. “Yes, I am.”

“That’s nice to hear, but that’s not what I’m worried about.”

“Oh?”

Bo sighed. “Ever since the children were taken, Link’s been… different. Going away for longer periods of time, that mark on his forehead. Even when he’s here he’s always anxious, like he just can’t wait to leave again. I worry one day he’ll go out there and just…never come back. The entire village would be devastated.”

Warriors thought for a moment, he glanced over to Hyrule and Legend talking to Rusl, the 2 heroes most taken in by the wanderlust. Out of the corner of his eye, he was Wind superswimming while the children cheered him on. He decided now was not the time to deal with _that_ and turned back to Bo. “His behavior isn’t that usual. None of us are strangers to wanderlust. All of us have it to some degree. Link will be compelled to explore and see what the world has to offer, but this place will still be important to him. In a world full of unknowns and unexplored places, knowing where you are guaranteed a warm meal and a safe bed is a great comfort.”

Bo smiled. “Thank you, though sometimes I just wish he would stay for longer. But I wouldn’t keep him from doing what makes him happy just for my own piece of mind.”

“You are an honorable man.”

Bo laughed. “Thanks. It’s nice to hear that once in a long while.”

“Yeah, now if you excuse me for a moment, I need to talk to a bird about a gate.”

Finishing up his conversation with Bo, Warriors went to the bird’s shop.

“Do have the key to the gate in North Faron?”

“No! Dropped it!”

“…Where did you drop it?”

“In the shop tree!”

“…In North Faron?”

“Yep! Buy something!”

“No, thank you,” said Warriors. With that unfortunate news, Warriors turned back to the mayor’s house. He saw Twilight and Wild returning from the ranch with Ilia holding onto Epona. As he walked back, he overheard Hyrule and Legend talking to Rusl and stopped.

“Got any embarrassing stories about Tw—I mean Link?” inquired Legend.

Oh, he wanted to listen to this.

“Well there was that time when he was 3 years old. I came home from a trip to Castle Town to Uli weeping tears o’ joy outside. I ask what’s going on and she shows me inside, and there was Link surrounded by broken pots. He smashed every pot in the house. That was when I knew he was destined for greatness.”

“Why?” asked Hyrule.

“What do you mean why?” asked Legend.

“Just, why is smashing pots so important?”

“Wha—are you telling me you’ve never smashed a pot?!”

“Yeah,” said Hyrule, who had no idea where this was going.

“Oh, we have to rectify this immediately. Hey guys! Hyrule has never smashed a pot!!” All of the Links stopped what they were doing and looked at Legend in shock.

Legend turned to Rusl. “We need a pot right now!”

Rusl laughed. “I’ll get some for y’all.”

A pot was quickly precured and the Links all gathered for the occasion.

Hyrule grabbed the pot with both hands and lifted it over his head.

“Hyrule! Hyrule! Hyrule! Hyrule! Hyrule!” chanted the other Links. Wild banged on the ground like a drum.

He threw the pot. It sailed through the air and shattered on the wall, the pieces disappearing as they hit the ground. The other Links cheered.

Something seemed to awaken inside him. He always felt a bit out of place with the other heroes, unsure whether he was really one of them. But now…

“I know that look. Felt great didn’t it?” asked Legend.

“Yeah, it did,” whispered Hyrule.

Want to do it again?”

“Yes.”

After the heroes tracked down every pot in Ordon for Hyrule to smash, they reconvened in front of Twilight’s house. Twilight had to snag Epona away from Ilia on his way there. Warriors informed them about the monsters in Faron and that to get past the gate, they needed to get a key that was past the gate.

“That’s no problem. My beedle could probably get it.”

“Nah, the gate and his shop are separated by a loading zone.”

“Damn. Hey Twilight, are all keys in your Hyrule the same? If you skipped a key in a dungeon, we might be able to use that,” said Legend.

“I could get over it,” suggested Wind.

“No,” said Warriors. No one wanted a repeat of _that_ incident.

“I could probably get over it, depending on how high it is,” said Wild.

“If Wild can get over then I can too!” suggested Wind, again.

“The answer is still no,” said Time.

“Oh come on! I’ve zombie hovered plenty of times after my adventure no problem!”

“Wind, that’s not the issue,” said Warriors, “the problem is that you have to die to use it, and you will die if you make a mistake.”

“Well dying’s not so bad, sometimes it’s very convenient,” said Sky.

The other Links stared at him like he just said _Demise actually had some really good points_ or _maybe we should all just walk everywhere like normal people_ or worst of all, _a byte and a bit are the same thing_.

“What?”

“You… know that dying is permanent, right?” asked Legend.

“Um, since when?”

“Since your quest ended. If you die, you stay dead. Forever. No respawning.” said Twilight.

“Oh. I see,” said Sky, who had purposefully died 20 times during his adventure, “nevermind,” he whispered.

“Well Wind, you know that trick ya did to go real fast?”

“Yeah.”

“Well if you can go that fast without much setup, you can probably climb all over the area’s geometry. There’s a lot of trees and high places near the gate. I bet there’s a way to launch yourself just right and go over it.”

Wild beamed. “Oh yeah! I can do that!”

“As for everyone else, I can get all y’all past the gate no problem.”

“In that case, we should move out now,” said Warriors. He turned to Sky concerned. “Sky, are you okay?”

“Yep.” Sky was not okay. He was having an existential crisis. However, he was also a good multitasker, so he could have a crisis and travel at the same time.

Links ran, back-walked, rolled, and rode Epona on their way to North Faron.

“Coro lives just up ahead. He probably saw whatever monsters came this way. We should probably ask him, so we know what we’re dealing with.”

Warriors nodded. “Makes sense. And if monsters are nearby we’ll also want to make sure that he’s okay.”

No one disagreed with that point, so they took a quick detour to Coro’s house. There was a fireplace outside that appeared to not be in use.

“That’s odd, he’s usually outside,” said Twilight.

“That’s… not a good thing,” said Legend.

Warriors knocked on the door. To Twilight’s relief, Coro wasn’t killed by monsters and answered the door. Twilight let Warriors do the talking and backed up behind everyone so they couldn’t see what he was doing, tuning out the conversation. He had to do it quickly before anyone noticed and tried to stop him.

“So did you see any monsters around here?” asked Warriors.

“Yeah. There were about 6 Bokoblins and one of those really scary black monsters that showed a few years ago. They scared poor Trill so bad he set up shop in Ordon, and I honestly can’t blame him.”

“The bird?”

“Yeah, he’s my pet bird.”

“Why does he run a shop?” asked Wind.

“Entrepreneurship runs in the family. My sisters have their own businesses in Lanayru region.”

“Oh.” Wind knew fish in the map business, so it wasn’t that weird.

“Twilight probably fought those monsters during his quest. Hey Twilight, does— Hey!" Sky turned and saw that Twilight was jumping on and backflipping off his horse while the others were distracted. To Sky’s utter dismay, he was holding a fishing rod.

“Why are you doing that? We just got that off your hand!”

“To unlock the gate,” he said, not even pausing.

“I don’t see how duping more fishing rods will unload a gate.”

Twilight backflipped off one more time and grinned mischievously. “Oh, you’ll see. You’ll all see. I’ve always wanted to be able to use this for something.”

“Twilight, what are you doing—"

He jumped on Epona and started riding back the way they came. The Links followed after him toward the Faron spring until they reach the end of the path. There is _no_ Faron spring anymore, just a white void. Twilight doesn’t seem to care, and he rides straight into the out-of-bounds area. The others watch him from the edge of the path still loaded in. You can’t always trust collision to still be there when the texture isn’t visible.

“This is so weird,” said Hyrule.

“Is he riding **on** the out of bounds?” exclaimed Wind.

“It is weird for the land to just become invisible?” asked Sky. Out of bounds areas still had floor textures, and he could travel pretty far on the out of bounds.

From their vantage point, they watch in horror as Twilight rode to the end of the tunnel and backflipped off his horse. There was no ground there, and he fell. His scream faded as he disappeared into the void.

“Twilight!”

They rush over to where Twilight fell, (in bounds of course). Their panic was cut short as they saw Twilight at the end of the tunned as he was in the middle of his standing up animation.

“Why did you do that? You could have died!” Wild tackle hugged him.

“Sorry, cub. But it’s not that big a deal. Falling into the void has never been an issue.”

Wild frowned and pulled away to look at Twilight. “You are a hypocrite. You know that?”

“You just said earlier that dying is permanent, and then you go do that!” yelled Sky.

“It’d only kill me if I only had one heart left.”

“Hey Twilight,” said Warriors, “can you please tell me that the fact you could do that is something you happened to inherently know and not something that you found out by actually trying it?”

“Sorry, Warriors, I can’t lie to you.”

“Well, on the bright side, you don’t have fishing rods stuck to your hand!” said Wind.

“So what was even the point of doing that?” asked Time.

“You’ll see.”

“I don’t like the sound of that, pup.”

With that ominous message, they continued their way through the tunnel, going into a loading zone in front of where Twilight fell out of bounds. They quickly made their way through the darkness to the other side of the tunnel, taking out deku babas among the way. There at the end of the tunnel, they did, in fact, see.

In front of them was Epona, half clipped into the floor. The Links were silent, showing various levels of disbelief and confusion. Except for Twilight, who was grinning mischievously. He jumped on his horse. And patted the space behind him.

“She can carry at least 2 people through the gate. I’ll be able to ferry y’all past just fine.”

When no one seemed eager to jump on, Twilight frowned. “Oh come on, are y’all heroes of courage or not?”

Hyrule went first. Legend, not wanting to seem cowardly in front of his descendent, went immediately after. After they got past the gate with no issue, the rest followed without much fuss, save for Wild and Wind.

Wild used a bomb to, as he called it, ragdoll his way over. Wind did not zombie rover, and instead searched around the entire area to find a good place to item slide off the geometry to launch himself. He only barely saved them 0.5 seconds, which was always worth it.

They entered North Faron woods and found the Bokoblins in the clearly.

Wind approached first, slowly advancing as he charged up his sword while the others prepared their bows. Then he released the hurricane spin, stunning all the monsters while the rest spammed arrows to prevent any interruptions to the attack. Black blood quickly coated the Phantom Sword. The others advanced as the move ended, forming a circle to protect Wind while he was still dazed.

Time’s sword glowed as if in a constant swing. Time looked silly in battle, lightly touching enemies with his sword, careful not to move it too much or too fast lest the ISG cancel. He looked the least dangerous, but any monsters that attacked him quickly learned it only took a only light touch to receive jump attack damage _every frame_.

With the Bokoblins dealt with, Twilight scanned the area for other monsters, and saw something that made his blood run cold.

There, near the entrance to the Forest Temple, was a slight that Twilight had prayed he would never see again.

A Shadow Beast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried my best to base Twilight and Sky’s sparing practice off of this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7NmbXXXE7pQ&t=30s  
> If you didn’t understand what in the world Twilight was doing, it was this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kz8CTf5WRhw  
> This chapter was so hard to write. The good news is I know what the plot is going to be!  
> I have a confession; I have not played nor have access to every Zelda game, so I have to rely on video of glitches instead of doing them myself. (That’s the actual reason Twilight didn’t turn into a wolf last chapter. I couldn’t find a video of what it looked like if you used actor duping and then turned into a wolf) If you have any glitches or interesting mechanics that could be useful, particularly things that Warriors, Hyrule, Legend, and Four can do, let me know!


	3. Giant's Mask Softlock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Links solve a puzzle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter and mostly dialogue, but I had fun writing it. Things are getting serious!
> 
> Sign language is distinguished by «» instead of quotations. There are links to youtube videos for certain sounds. Definitely lower the volume for the first one.
> 
> The other thing to note is that I headcannon the Hero's Spirit as autistic (because I like writing them that way). It's not going to be explicitly stated in the text, so I wanted to point that out so no one gets too confused. (Also inspired by As I May by Rick_KTish. Read it. It's very good.)

_They couldn’t see. They could barely hear. The only sense they really had was the ground under their feet and…arms. It all feels wrong: the ground, the crawling, their body. They didn’t crawl on all fours before or have a hunch in their back._

_They were told to find…something. How did they get here? They don’t remember. They can’t remember anything from before. There were others near them, but they’re too far away to sense anymore. They tried to grab one of them, but they all ran away. They didn’t want to hurt them. They just didn’t want to be lonely anymore._

The others had noticed the Shadow Beast. No! Twilight couldn’t let his brothers kill them! He rolled to the spot where the path to the temple reached a bottleneck, turning around with his sword drawn ready to fight whoever dared get past him.

“Pup, you’re in the way.”

He growled, baring teeth. The others were taken back, wondering what had gotten into him.

“Uh Twi, what’s wrong?” asked Wild, alarmed.

Twilight opened his mouth as if to speak, then closed it. He tried again but no sound came out again. Why does this have to happen now? Of all times?

“Are you too stressed to talk?” inquired Wild.

Twilight nodded, a little relieved his problem was put into words.

“Okay! Let’s all calm down and put our swords away until Twilight can explain what in the world is going on,” announced Sky.

Everyone put away their weapons, except for Warriors. Legend nudged him. “Come on. Do you have no curiosity in that thick skull of yours?”

Warriors sighed. “Fine.” He put away his sword away. Wind felt weird just standing there, so fiddled with his telescope.

Twilight took some deep breaths and ran his hands through his hair. He could still use sign language. «Cursed.» He signed.

Time’s eyes widened in shock. He thought of Pamela’s father, cursed into slowing transforming into a Gibdo.

“So this creature is actually a person transformed into a monster?” asked Time.

Another nod. He could do this. He could keep the others from hurting them. «Ganondorf cursed T-W-I-L-I, or Twili, and turned them into shadow beasts.» He fingerspelled the terms they were unfamiliar with before using the sign for those terms. Midna hadn’t known what the sign for Twili was, so they made a new one combining the words for people and shadow.

“What’s he saying?” asked Sky, who didn’t know any sign because it hadn’t been invented yet in his time.

Four, who knew Twilight’s sign language and finger spelling, translated for the few Links that didn’t. Legend took out his mirror and discreetly looked at the creature’s reflection. He raised a single eyebrow and then put the mirror away.

“We should put it out of its misery then,” said Warriors. He stepped forward with his hand on his sheathed sword. Twilight snarled at him and prepared to do a mortal draw.

“Twilight, get out of the way!”

Hyrule grabbed Warriors before he could move any further. “Shh!” said Hyrule, “it’ll hear you!”

“I don’t think so,” said Four, sitting on the nearby stump. “We’re not in its detection zone.”

“I’m sorry, Twilight, but there isn’t another option. I’m not happy about this either, but even if it’s somehow not infected, the best thing we can do is end its suffering,” said Warriors.

Twilight growled, his hand still holding the sword handle.

“No, Twilight’s right,” said Time.

Everyone looked at him.

“We know nothing about the black blood. This is as good an opportunity as any to capture a monster and bring them to someone who would be knowledgeable about this. Twilight, when your adventure was over, were there any Shadow Beasts still roaming around before the portals showed up?”

Twilight shook his head.

Time continued. “So whoever this used to be was likely cursed by whoever it is we’ve been brought together to fight. If they can be brought back or somehow cured, they may be able to tell us what happened to them.”

“So anyone got any bright ideas on how to catch it?” asked Legend.

Everyone was quiet, mentally going over their items and powers. Several sat down or paced. Wild absentmindedly brushed the hair by his ears with his fingers.

“I have a gust jar,” said Four, “it can suck in enemies and then spit them out. Though I’m not sure if someone that big will be sucked in, and I’d have to keep holding it or it will spit everything inside back out.”

“Okay, that will be the backup plan since it would mean you’re unable to participate in fights. Anyone else?” asked Time.

“I have a spell called the Spell Spell that can turn some enemies into Bots.”

“What are Bots?” asked Wind.

“They’re similar to the slimes in Legend’s Hyrule.”

“Huh, I actually a magic powder that turns most enemies into slimes,” said Legend.

“I don’t think turning them into a different kind of enemy would be helpful. Besides, it could make turning them back to normal more difficult,” said Sky, “I have a lasso and my slingshot stuns enemies for a few seconds, but that won’t be very viable if we’re going to be traveling with this thing.”

Hey Wild, could you store it in your slate?” asked Wind.

Wild took out his slate and looked at it. “Uh, I don’t think it will allow that.”

“You can store other things that are alive in it through.”

“Well, I think it can only store things that I can like, hold in my hands.”

“Wait so if you could pike it up, would that count? You can use my Titan’s Mitt if you want. I have 2 pairs.” said Legend with a smirk.

“Guys, I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t work. It’s way bigger than anything I’m carrying in my slate.”

“So, if there was some way to shrink it down, we could probably store it in a bottle. Does anyone have a way to shrink things?” said Time.

“I have a spell that turns me into a fairy, but only temporarily. I’ve never tried casting it on something else,” said Hyrule.

Twilight and Four shared a look.

“I… can shrink down, but not with an item. On one of my adventures, I could use these things called Minish portals that allowed me to shrink down to the size of my finger.” Four looked down at the stump he was sitting on. “I need to check something,” he said and stood up.

Everyone watch in amazement as Four began to shrink down and disappear. A few moments later, Four reappeared again at his normal size. “So it turns out this stump is one of these portals. I’ve never tried to force an enemy to use it, so I don’t know how that would work.”

“How did you learn how to do that?” asked Warriors.

“Have any of you encountered the Minish in your adventures?”

There were several no’s and heads shaking in response.

“They’re a people about as small as a mouse. I learned how to shrink from one of them. So my items shrink with me when I shrink, so in order to get the Shadow Beast small enough to fit in our inventory…”

“It has to be small enough to fit in your inventory,” finished Warriors. “This is going to be impossible,” he muttered.

Legend gasped in faux concern, “Oh no, a puzzle! How horrible! Don’t worry Warriors! The rest of us will save you from the horror that is using your brain to do something other than stab monsters!” he said dramatically.

“Don’t patronize me,” said Warriors, glaring at Legend.

“You make it too easy, though,” he said grinning.

“Well this stump is quite large,” said Sky, trying to get things back on track. “Perhaps we can lure it onto the stump and then somehow activate the portal?”

“I don’t know how to activate it when I’m not the one shrinking.”

“What if you and the Shadow Beast are on the stump at the same time and then you activate it?” asked Sky.

Twilight cleared this throat to get everyone’s attention. «They are faster than they seem. Luring is a bad idea.»

Time spoke up, “I think I have an idea, but it’s really stupid.”

“Well spit it out old man. We’re very familiar with stupid plans,” said Legend.

“I have a mask that makes a person gigantic. I’ve only ever been able to use it anywhere except for a specific room, but that might only apply to me, and I have it so it can be equipped elsewhere. If Four has the power to make himself small, then what if he uses my mask to become big, traps the shadow beast in a bottle, then uses his powers to become small again?”

“That could work maybe? If I’m giant, I don’t know if the portal will make me Minish-sized or normal sized. Or how that will affect the size of the Shadow Beast,” said Four.

“I think the luring idea is the best plan so far. Using the giant’s mask makes it more complicated.” said Warriors.

“Luring is pretty dangerous according to Twilight, and we don’t even know if it’ll work,” said Time. “If we’re going to shrink it, then we start with Four, a bottle, and the Shadow Beast at normal size. We want to end with Four and the bottle normal-sized while the Shadow Beast is Minish-sized. Our best bet is to use the Giant’s Mask in combination with the Minish portal, and we need to make sure our plan works regardless of how the two interact.”

“There’s one problem. This area may not be big enough to fit Four with the Giant’s Mask on,” added Hyrule, “how big does it make you anyway?”

“About 28 times bigger,” said Time.

“That’s probably fine,” said Four, “I’ll still be able to put my foot on the stump, so it should work. It’ll probably alert the Shadow Beast immediately since I’ll be in its detection zone.”

“Oh! I know!” exclaimed Wind, “Four will put on the Giant’s mask and trap the monster. Then, he needs to use the portal. If he’s normal sized, then he can transfer the Shadow Beast into one of our other bottles.” He held up an empty bottle for effect. “Then he takes off the mask and uses the portal to become actually normal-sized. If he’s Minish sized, then just lure the tiny Shadow Beast outside so we can trap it.”

“Sounds like a plan,” said Sky. The others nodded in agreement.

“We should probably have someone else be small just in case the Shadow Beast needs to be lured,” said Time.

“What, you think I can’t handle one of Twiliight's monsters?”

“No, I just want your chances of dying to be at a minimum if we can help it.”

“I came up with the plan, so I get to do it!” exclaimed Wind.

“No wa—” began Warriors, but Four cut him off.

“I don’t think any of you can become small. Except maybe Hyrule.”

The others nodded. With a plan in place, they began preparations.

Unbeknownst to the heroes, they were being monitored in the realm of the gods.

Farore watched the heroes of courage discussing their plan. It would not work. Little did the Hero of Time know, the Giant’s mask did not, in fact, make you giant. It shrunk the arena, and there was no shrunken version of North Faron woods.

But she could change that…well, Nayru could.

“Nayru! Look at what the Links are doing!”

“I do not want to see what your little _glitches_ are doing now,” replied Nayru, dismissively.

Farore smiled. “Technically, they are Hylia’s glitches. They are trying to use the Giant’s Mask in combination with a Minish portal.”

 _That_ got her attention. “But that’s not going to work. Enlarging magic shrinks the terrain and doesn’t affect the person. It can’t be used unless there is a shrunken version of the terrain.”

“That’s true, but the Links don’t know what. From what they know about the laws of the universe, their plan is perfectly valid.”

“Except it isn’t. Besides, there isn’t a shrunken version of Faron in that time period, so they won’t be able to equip the mask anyway.” But as she finished that sentence, she was overcome with a sense of dread and Farore’s expression wasn’t helping. “No, don’t give me that look.”

“What look?” Farore asked innocently.

“Don’t tell me those fiends can equip it.” She didn’t need her sister confirming her worst fears, what she knew must be true. “What are they doing now?”

“The Hero of Time believes that after the Hero of the Four Sword uses the Giant’s mask, he may not be able to move. So, he and the Hero of Wind are calculating the optimal place to stand without clipping through the walls or floor. The Hero of the Four Sword and Hero of Hyrule are testing the stump to see if any Minish-sized person would be in danger if something clipped through it. The Hero of the Skies is currently using his beetle to get a key out of a tree.”

Nayru opened access to the laws of the universe she and her sisters created and began scrolling furiously through the code she wrote.

“You know, the Links are incredibly good at math, especially anything to do with vectors.”

“Lovely,” sneered Nayru.

“Why did you make the magic of the Giant’s mask work like that anyway?”

“I had very good reasons for having enlarging magic work differently from shrinking magic. It was a quick fix that I was going to get around to making a more permanent fix for. It just… wasn’t a very high priority.”

“Well, now it’s pretty high priority, wouldn’t you say?”

Nayru stopped scrolling and groaned. “Ughhhh…I remember why now. I’m going to have to rewrite all the laws governing that thing. Why did I not just make this world using the standard particle set?”

“Because you wanted a magic system and I didn’t want to wait billions of years for anything interesting to happens?”

“That was a rhetorical question,” Nayru hissed. “Are they about to use the mask?”

“They’re close. They are getting into position now.”

Back in North Faron, the Links were prepared to put their plan in action.

 _Here goes nothing_ , Four thought.

He put on the mask and…stopped. He couldn’t move. He couldn’t do anything. The animation of the mask glowing wouldn’t end. From his position near the entrance, Time sighed. He would have to play the Song of Himself (tee-hee) to get Four out of the softlock.

Just before he could do it, they heard an [ear-piercing sound](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jf6klGlJtIQ) that seemed to come from everywhere. Time tried to cover his ears, flinch, anything, but he couldn’t move. He saw Sky in his peripheral vision, completely frozen.

This was a terrible idea; it was the worst idea he had ever had. Now all of his boys were in agony and it has all his fault. The goddesses were punishing him for trying to use an item outside of its one intended use. While he was in the middle of regretting every single life choice that got him to this point, the noise finally stopped. He grabbed his head to put pressure on his new headache and checked over the boys next to him. In pain, but otherwise fine. The goddesses were merciful.

Four felt himself expanding, and when it stopped he could finally move again. He looked down and saw that the Shadow Beast moving towards him. His hitbox must now be in range. He swiped at the Shadow Beast with a bottle. It wasn't very accurate, but the bottle swiping hitbox is very generous, and he caught it. Now for the hard part.

Wind’s calculation was correct in that he has one foot on the stump. He uses the portal and felt himself shrink down and down, and then stop once he’s normal sized. Sky, Legend, Wild, and Time ran over.

“Give it to me,” said Time. Four opened the bottle and dumped the Shadow Beast out of his bottle and into Time’s. Then he took off the mask and let himself shrink down completely.

Now Minish sized, Hyrule was inside the stump waiting for him. “It’s fine. We can all go back up now. Nice dress.”

Hyrule nodded. He liked his fairy dress. It made him feel cute.

Hyrule returned to normal size along with Four, who gave the Giant’s mask back to Time.

“Well that went well. We didn’t even lose a bottle!” said Legend.

“Yep!” said Four. “Let’s never use that again. Please.”

“Agreed,” said Sky.

“What the hell was that sound?” asked Hyrule.

“I think the goddesses were mad at me,” said Time, “though I never got that sound trying to use the Giant’s mask outside of its intended room.”

Twilight tried to grab the bottle from Time’s hand, but Time stopped him. “Hey, I get to hold on to it.”

Twilight glared at him and kept trying to reach it.

“You roll. I don't. That’s not something you want them to endure, right?”

He decided that Time had a point, and he didn’t like it, so he crossed his arms.

“Everyone split up and check the area for other monster then met back here. Got it?” said Time.

Everyone agreed and searched the area, leaving Time with the creature. Time checked the Shadow Beast using the Lens of Truth, and then put it away.

_What’s going on? Where are they? There is an enemy nearby. They can sense it. They try to get closer and hit a wall. They scratch at the wall, but nothing happens. If they can just grab them, they won’t feel lonely anymore._

_Suddenly, they heard a[strange tune](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oLxlc_83zU0). It was calm and melancholic. They stopped scratching the walls. They felt…safer. For a moment, they didn’t feel quite as alone. Like maybe things were going to be okay._

Meanwhile, back in the realm of the gods…

“Save for that little crash, everything went perfectly,” said Farore.

Nayru sneered. “Bringing all of them together was a mistake. Do you have anything idea how different the code is between time periods?”

“No.” She created character models, not the laws of the universe.

“They are _very_ different. And now I have to make sure that they all play nice with each other.”

“At least you won’t be bored,” Farore sang.

“Spare me your sympathy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only 3 chapters in and they've already crashed the game. If there's a glitch or game mechanic you know the Links would take advantage of, let me know!
> 
> This is everyone’s sign language fluency:  
> Sky doesn’t know any sign because it hasn’t been invented yet.  
> Four, Time, Twilight, Warriors, Wild, and Hyrule all know the same sign language since the textbooks haven’t changed.  
> Four, Time, Twilight, and Legend all know the same finger spelling signs.  
> Hyrule’s finger spelling is unique to his time. However, he can understand everyone’s finger spelling.  
> Wind’s finger spelling is unique to his time, but he doesn’t know sign so it’s a moot point.  
> Warriors and Wild know the same finger spelling signs.  
> Legend doesn’t know Hylian sign but knows different sign languages in other countries.


	4. ACE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Links return to the village and talk about their quests.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Declaimer: Each Link is based off specific speedruns and routes. Because these runs are done by real people, I want to specify that the personalities of these Links are not based on those people.
> 
> Sign language is distinguished by «» instead of quotations. The actual signs themselves are in all caps.

She could just disable the giant’s mask. Reset the items in The Hero of Time’s inventory and clear out the glitch. She could also modify the Hero of Twilight’s controls so he couldn’t do the boomerang longjump. She’d done that before for a version of that era on different hardware. It would be _so easy_ …

“No! Don’t do that! It’s not as fun!” pouted Farore.

“They’re _glitches_. Bugs. Oversights. Errors. I cannot tolerate them in my code any longer,” argued Nayru.

The air around them began to swirl into a cyclone, with Farore at the center. Her black hair rising above her head now glowed green, and her pure green eyes shined brighter. Had a mortal been present, they would’ve been blinded and torn apart by the wind. “If you dare get rid of any of the tricks the Links hold near and dear, I will personally delete every model and animation ever created. You will preside over a world made only of cubes and cylinders!!”

Deleting every model and every animation? Every time period would crash immediately. Would she be able to get any of them working again? How much time would be wasted? Too much time.

Besides, removing something that clearly makes her sister happy may cause their relationship to rapidly deteriorate. She didn’t want to lose anyone because of that. Not again.

“Fine. But crashes are not something I will accept. And if they softlock themselves I’m not going to bail them out.”

The wind died down immediately, and her eyes dimmed back down to soft green glow. Farore hugged her and lifted her up. “Yay! Thank you!”

“Ah! Put me down so I may code in peace!”

“Okayyyy…” Farore reluctantly let her go with a grin that made Nayru doubt she was going to be left alone.

Nayru vanished in a flash of lightning, teleporting to her more private quarters.

The Links checked the surrounding area and the forest temple for more black blood infected monsters. Some genuinely looked, while others used it as an excuse to take a break and try to recover from that horrible noise. Time searched the main area with the giant purple fog, since he could clear out most of it using Din’s Fire. Twilight took the time to smell the area as a wolf while pretending to be checking a cave off to the side of the main area. Talking to the monkeys let him confirm there were no monsters in the Forest Temple nor any near the Sacred Grove. The monkeys were very unhappy about the noise they made, and Twilight couldn’t blame them. Fortunately, it seemed it was confined to only that area.

After the area was declared clear, they all started walking back. While not the most efficient method of travel, it allowed them to travel and discuss their next priority: the fate of their new prisoner. It was hard to discuss things while rolling.

“Twilight, is there a reason to believe it can even be reversed?” said Warriors.

Twilight nodded, then reconsidered, and signed «Maybe? Zelda will know what to do.»

“Then onward to the castle!” said Wind.

Twilight nodded.

“Wait hold on. Let’s go in the morning and spend the night here,” said Warriors, thinking about what Bo had told him.

Twilight’s expression soured. «We should go to Zelda now!» he signed, translated from «NOW ZELDA NOW.»

“Well, this will probably be the last time we’re in the area for a long while. Let’s make the most of it,” said Warriors, looking at some of the other Links. That sound had not been kind to them. Hyrule was obviously completely relying on his mental controller to walk straight, something he didn’t usually do since his walk cycle looked the most unnatural out of all of them.

“Monsters came recently. Could be reinforcements on the way,” said Four. He really wanted to talk to the Minish in the area before leaving and wanted some more time to recover from the assault that noise did on his senses. “We should stay just in case. Make sure we have all the information we could get before heading out.”

The thought of his village in danger made Twilight pale. «Fine.»

With a decision made, they travelled more optimally. They ran, rolled, rode, and back-walked their way back to the village. Legend and Four opted to use their Pegasus Boots now that they knew where they were heading. Time, not to be outdone, used a superslide. Rusl and Ilia were waiting for them. Ilia took back Epona from Twilight without him making a fuss, though he was pretty out of it. “Back already? That was fast,” commented Rusl.

“Speed is a specialty of ours. The woods should be safe now,” said Time.

«We’re just staying the night,» Twilight signed.

“That’s fine,” said Rusl, “It’s enough time to catch up on—” Twilight was already rolling away.

“Where are you going?” Time grabbed Twilight’s hood and stopped him. «Patrol.» He signed.

“You can do that later.”

Twilight shook his head, looking at the floor.

“Pup. Your family is here. They love you and miss you, and they would like to spend time with you.”

Twilight nodded. He wasn’t looking at Time, though. He was looking at where he stored the bottle containing the Shadow Beast.

“So spend time with them. I will keep this safe.” Time said patting the spot on his bag. “Alright?”

“I can patrol for you,” said Four.

Twilight took a breath, and then nodded.

To Time’s relief, Rusl knew exactly what would cheer Twilight up: puppies.

“I know. Y’all ran off before I could introduce to our newest family member. Ya see, Jaggle and Pergie’s dog had a litter about 2 months ago.”

Twilight perked up at that. «Puppies?»

Rusl nodded, and Twilight rolled away toward his parents’ house while Rusl ran after him.

Rusl had three puppies, that were going to be trained to herd goats and to defend the animals. They were very excited to see new people. After Twilight acquainted himself with all the puppies. Twilight sat in the house holding one of them and gently stroking the pup’s back while he rocked himself from side to side. The other two was investigating the other new people, namely Time.

“You feelin better?” he asked Twilight.

“Puppy.” Time took that to mean yes.

Wild, who had followed Twilight, wasn’t much of a dog person and left to find something else to do. He wandered to the spring where Ilia was cleaning Epona.

“Hello. You must be Wild, right?”

“Yeah, I am.”

“Link mentioned you in his letters. He talks about you a lot.”

“Oh really?” said Wild, who wasn’t sure what to say to that. “What does he say?”

Ilia grinned. “That you’re an impulsive son of a gun who doesn’t know a bad idea if smacked you in the face,”

"No I'm not."

"He told me about the boots incident."

His face turned red. That wasn't his best moment. Her smiled softened a little and she sighed, “and that you lost your memory too.”

“Yeah. Amnesia is just the worst isn’t it?” said Wild.

Ilia giggled. “I’ve recovered a lot of my memories, but I’m still missing so much. Sometimes one of the kids or my father will mention something, and I’ll have no clue what they’re going on about. What about you?”

“A few, but…” He had figured out that going to the places in Zelda’s pictures would let him recover some memories. He had been avoiding those places. “I’ve been avoiding it.”

Ilia raised an eyebrow. “And why’s that?”

“I don’t relate to past me at all. He doesn’t even feel like me. Like he died and now I’m running around in his body.”

“That’s fine. You’ve experienced things past you hadn’t. You’re not going to be exactly the same. I’m not the same person I was in my memories. People change all the time.”

“That’s the problem, though. I have this…friend who knew me before I got my memory erased. It’s like…” Wild paused to try to think of what to say, “I don’t want to pretend to be that person, but I think they expect me to be him.”

“Have you asked them?”

“No.”

“Then you don’t know what they expect, do you? You should talk to them. They might surprise you.”

“And what if they don’t?”

“Then they’re not your friend.”

“Twi—Link said that it was important to have someone from your past, but…” Wild trailed off, not sure where he was going with that statement.

She grinned. “Do you know why he said that?”

“Why?”

“Well, when I lost my memory, he was so worried about accidently upsetting me that he never told me I knew him. Just let me believe he was just a kind stranger.” She raised her hands up. “But that was more upsetting! I was desperate to know who I was, to remember something, anything, and him being silent about it certainly wasn’t helping.”

Wild thought about what had happened only an hour earlier. “Maybe he couldn’t talk. Too stressed.”

“Then he could’ve asked someone else to tell me. It shouldn’t be a secret.” She sighed. “I’m not too mad at him; I mean he did help restore my memory, but I felt like such a fool for not realizing I knew him. I remember telling the doctor ‘oh I hope Link comes back. He seems like such a nice man.’ But they all _knew_. And they were keeping it a secret.”

Wild gasped. “That’s so mean. I actually had the opposite problem.”

“How so?”

“My friend assumed I must’ve had all my memories despite knowing I might have amnesia. It was awkward,” he paused, “though from what memories I have, most of our interactions were awkward.” It was made worse by the fact that a part of him _did_ remember Zelda. Specifically, the part that made him automatically clam up whenever she’s around whether he wants to or not.

“They probably just need time to get used to the fact that’s you’re different now.”

“Yeah,” Wild looked at the spring. Zelda was probably like this place.

_She was standing in a spring, hands together praying to the gods. He stood watch…_

“Hey what’s wrong?”

Ilia snapped her fingers in front of Wild’s face. No reaction. Oh dear. She quickly took Epona back to Link’s house and tied her up, then went to find one of Link’s friends.

Wind was outside with the children teaching them how to roll faster than running. “Hey, you’re Wind right?”

“Yes.”

“There’s something wrong with Wild. He’s isn’t moving or responding.”

Wind nodded. “Okay guys. Just keep practicing while I’m gone,” he said to the kids. He rolled to follow Ilia to Wild, who was still standing there, his expression blank.

“Do you know what’s wrong with him?”

“Um…” said Wind. “I don’t know.” To Wind, it was like someone used the Command Melody on Wild. Or perhaps what it would look like if pausing didn’t freeze time. ~~Or if the person controlling him left the console running while getting a snack.~~

_(That last metaphor was really weird. Why had he thought of that?)_

If he waited long enough, the problem would probably go away.

“I think he’s having a memory. He’ll snap out of it eventually. I’ll keep an eye on him.”

“Thank you,” said Ilia.

Wind tested the geometry for cracks while waiting for Wild to finish watching a cutscene. At least he figured the memories were cutscenes. He wondered if that meant they were in 1st person or if they were 3rd person like all cutscenes.

The geometry was pretty well put together. At least, it was well put together assuming you couldn’t gain a ridiculous amount of speed at once.

Eventually after about 3 minutes, Wild finally snapped out of it.

“Hey Wild! You okay?”

“Fine. Another one of his memories.”

“Him?”

“Just, it feels like he was a different person, and I don’t know how to feel about him.”

Wind, as the quartermaster, was no stranger to helping his crew through their problems. Plagues of self-doubt did not make a good pirate, so this needed to be dealt with. “How?”

“Well, on one hand, he was a prodigy. Someone whose potential I have to live up to. I’m always being compared to him, expected to act like him. On the other hand…well, he died when the Calamity struck and meanwhile I wake up with no memory and manage to beat the Calamity in half an hour. It’s just… like… there’s a dissonance between all the hype around him and the reality.”

It reminded Wind of all the times he was compared to the Hero of Time and supposed to live up to him. Granted, he had skipped a lot, so to him the comparisons were a moot point, since a large chunk happened after Ganondorf was already defeated.

Wild’s face turned sour. “And what if it was intentional? What if his thought process was ‘if I fight the Calamity now it will take 2 hours, but if I die right now I can come back and beat him in a quarter of that time!’”

Wind blanched at that. He…prioritizing time was nothing new, but everything he skipped he came back to do later. Efficiency was a good thing. It keeps the ship running and keeps problems from piling up. Dying the way Wild did… there was no going back from that.

But how to say that in a way that actually helps? Just saying that couldn’t be true would be dishonest since he didn’t actually know for sure. Now, if he were able to use logic instead, that would be much easier. Most disputes could be solved through logic. Even emotional ones, which just used a different kind of logic.

“Wild, I doubt pre-Calamity you would choose to gain 100 years to save a few hours. The math doesn’t work.”

“I guess that’s true, but does time spent unconscious count as part of your time?”

Yes it did. Kind of. The time he was asleep at the beginning of his adventure counted, but that was only because it was part of a cutscene. However, most of the time he was unconscious when the King of Red Lions found him didn’t count, since it wasn’t part of a cutscene. Wind didn’t truly understand what a cutscene was, but he knew cutscene time counted.

“Well, were you unconscious in a cutscene?”

“No. I don’t think so. Time started when I woke up.”

“Then no, you didn’t die intentionally. If that was true, then time would’ve started before you died.”

“But what if before counted as a separate quest and getting the fastest time involved dying?”

“That’s rubbish. A quest is only completed upon your foe’s defeat. Your foe wasn’t defeated, and thus it couldn’t have been a quest. It’s not like there are multiple win states.”

“Guess that makes sense.”

Wind was satisfied with a job well done. He had solved Wild’s self-doubt. “So, you wanna help me show the kids how to roll?”

“I don’t know how to roll.”

“…Then do you wish to learn how to roll?”

“Yeah!”

Beth and Talo had figured out how to roll but couldn’t chain rolls faster than running. Wild was completely inept. “Like this?” Wild was attempting to fall off a house in such a way that he ragdolled in a somersault.

“Ragdolling or whatever that is you do is not proper rolling. You're not supposed to fall into a roll; you just do it manually on the ground. Don’t you have a button for it?”

“Nope.”

“…My condolences.”

Suddenly, Hyrule sped straight past them and nearly bumped into Wind. A few moments later, Ilia and Legend ran after him.

“What was that about?”

Wind shrugged.

Earlier, Bo was teaching Warriors how to wrestle while Legend and Hyrule watched.

“Come on Warriors, Twilight won on his first try! You can do it!” yelled Legend.

“Your sarcasm isn’t helping!” Warriors yelled back right after Bo knocked him out of the arena. Again.

“I’m not being sarcastic! I’m just trying to give words of encouragement!” It was true. He wasn’t even using his sarcastic tone.

“Maybe you should give it a try boy,” said Bo.

“Oh no, no thanks,” said Legend. If Warriors was struggling, then he, a hero who needed a Power Glove to lift a rock, wouldn’t fare any better. He also felt his skin crawl, hyperaware of all the little ways his clothes pulled and itched that made it hard to focus. It would go away eventually, but contact with another human being was the last thing he wanted right now.

Hyrule was sitting in the corner with his arms around his knees with his eyes closed. He was usually fine around the others but being in towns was…a lot. Outside was worse, but even in here he felt like memory usage was near 100%. That horrible sound from earlier had pushed him near the edge.

He heard a new person come into the room and sit down next to him. “You’re Hyrule right? So has Link been taking good care of Epona? He claims he is, but…”

Hyrule pulled more into himself. _Please just stop talking,_ he thought.

“Hey you okay?”

No, he wasn’t, but he couldn’t say it because his voice was gone. _Please go away._

“Something the matter Hyrule?” That sounded like Legend’s voice.

Her voice lower to a soft whisper like tone. “If you’re feeling overwhelmed. There’s a very dark room in Link’s treehouse that you can lie down in. He probably won’t mind. His house is at the entrance to the village and once you’re inside there’s a ladder on the left to the basement.”

Hyrule bolted from his spot and ran straight for Twilight’s house and found the basement. He dropped down not even bothering with the ladder. He rocked in the farthest corner from the ladder and sighed in relief. It reminded him of the cave he used when he first travelled to Hyrule (the place, not the person). There was no light and no people. While it wasn’t perfect due to the overworld music, it was close enough. Slowly, the overload went away, and allocated memory was released.

“Hey Hyrule, are you okay?” He heard a voice that sounded like Legend coming from upstairs. No, not now.

“If you want us to leave you alone, make any noise,” said a girl’s voice, probably the same one that told him about this place.

Hyrule banged on the wall. After some brief whispering sounds from upstairs, he heard the two leave the house to himself.

Legend and Ilia walked just outside of Twilight’s house.

“What was that about?” asked Legend.

“I think everything was just becoming too much. That sometimes happened with Link, but he mostly grew out of it. He’s be fine in an hour or two. So has Link been taking care of Epona?”

“I think so? I don’t know horses.” Twilight was probably the expert on what effect clipping through the floor had on a horse.

“Has he been using her to jump over fences?”

“No.” He went _around_ the fence.

“Good. Last time I caught him doing that Epona got a minor injury on her leg! It wasn’t too serious, but it could have been really bad!”

“Why?”

“Leg injuries on a horse can be very dangerous. If Epona ever broke her leg, we'd probably have to put her down.”

“Wha—what?” The very matter-of-fact tone she used to talk about killing a horse caught him off guard.

“If a horse can’t stand on all four legs, they’re going to die. That’s just how it is,” said Ilia.

That sounded very interesting. “Tell me more about horses.”

Ilia proceeded to give Legend an approximately 2-hour lecture on horse care, while Legend sat there listening intently. He didn’t care to watch Warriors get his ass handed to him by the mayor, and Hyrule needed some time alone, so it was a good use of his time.

Meanwhile back in Twilight’s parents’ house, Time was being politely interrogated. “So you wouldn’t happen to know what’s got my son all down in the dumps, would ya?”

“It’s this.” Time pulled out the bottle and showed it the Rusl.

“Wha—how—”

“According to Link, these creatures are the result of a demonic curse placed on otherwise normal people. You recognize it?”

“Yeah, they were around near the time the children were all kidnapped. I heard from Barnes that that someone in Kakariko got turned into one. Is there a way to undo it?”

“We don’t know.” That particular piece of information was new. He carefully put the bottle away. “How did someone get turned?”

Rusl shrugged. “The general store owner was attacked by one, but by the time the townfolk came to save her, there were two of ‘em.”

“Hmm…” said Time. It would’ve been nice to know that during the encounter.

“It’s no wonder. When he returned after the invasion, he wouldn’t talk for a week. Brings back bad memories.”

“I can imagine.” Time didn’t find his first adventure that bad, more like a weird fever dream. Now, his second adventure…

was also kind of a fever dream, but _in a different way_.

After an uncomfortable silence, Rusl changed the subject to someone more lighthearted “So have you ever raised a herding dog before?”

“No, the cuccos do a decent job themselves.”

“Really? I heard some breeds of cucco are more aggressive, but not the ones here.”

“Heh, lucky. At my farm, if you hurt any of my cuccos, they will summon their friends and charge you until you die.”

“Ha! Well, sounds like you don’t have to deal with wolves.”

Time flinched. Twilight doesn’t seem to be paying attention. Time needed to change the subject away from wolves. _Now._

“So, um… where did Link learn sign?”

“Oh, well, for a short period of time, my wife and I started to suspect that Link couldn’t hear. He wouldn’t talk, so we thought maybe that’s why. So I went to Castle Town and brought a bunch of books on sign language. Turns out he could hear just fine, but the books were expensive, so we practiced anyway ‘cause I wanted to get my money’s worth.”

“Well, that’s one way to do it. I learned it for less than noble reasons.”

“Oh really?”

“There’s this man Indigo who sometimes works with my father-in-law. Horrible man. When I was a teen, I pretended to be deaf when he was around so I wouldn’t have to talk to him. My future wife and I learned sign to keep up the ruse and communicate secretly.”

“Ha ha! Sounds like a noble cause after all!”

“Amen to that!” called Uli, “Now, Rusl, someone needs to take the puppies outside so they can relieve themselves. I am not cleaning up puppy piss, and I know you won't. And someone else needs to watch the baby while I cook.”

“Yes honey! Hey Time, since you’re planning on having kids, would you watch the baby?”

“Of course. It would be an honor,” said Time.

“Link, come on, the puppies need to go pee!” said Rusl.

With Twilight no longer in earshot and the newborn currently asleep, he felt a bit more comfortable asking about a few of the things that had been bothering him.

He cleared his throat. “Excuse me if I’m overstepping, but are you Link’s birth parents?”

Uli gave a sad smile. “I guess you noticed the ears. We found him wandering Faron woods many years ago. He was only three at the time. No clue how he made it in there. We took him home and he’s been part of the village ever since. Hylian or not, he’s my son in all ways but blood. Now _I_ may be overstepping but…Are you his father?”

Time shook his head. “No. But probably a distant relative. That song that he sings to his horse is from my family. How did he learn it?”

“Well, not from us. He knew it before we found him.”

“I’m also curious about his treehouse. Was that—” He wasn’t sure how to finish the sentence.

“Oh that? That was his getaway from when the kids would get too loud.”

“Oh?”

“Yes. Ya see when I had Colin, Link couldn’t stand the crying. He only coped by smashing pots and chewing on things. So, we built him a space where he could get away from all that. The first thing that was built was the dark basement he has. I think he uses it for storage now. Then slowly we started building it up more and more and he moved more of his stuff in there until one day I realized he had basically moved out of the house.”

“I see.”

“It’s weird seeing him all grown up. Feels like it was just yesterday he was learning to ride a horse for the first time.”

“I wouldn’t know the feeling, but I hope to someday.”

“It really is a wonderful feeling, but sometimes it seems to happen too soon. You know that boy Talo?”

“Yes?”

“He has a younger brother Malo. He’s only 6 years old, but he acts so much more mature. When the children were kidnapped, Malo ended up starting his own business. Already has a store in Kakariko and Castle Town. When he came back, he didn’t want to just leave his business, so now his parents alternate between helping him take care of it in Kakariko while taking care of things over here. Right now, Pergie is in Castle Town and Jaggle is here taking care of Talo. It’s wonderful that he’s already making his way in the world, and yet it feels like his opportunity to have a childhood was stolen by the attack.”

“I can relate to that.”

“Oh really?”

“You wouldn’t get it.”

“Try me. I know all about my son’s adventure and his crazy shenanigans. I don’t think you could surprise me.”

“My own adventure happened at a much younger age. Then I had another, longer one soon after trying to find someone.” He sighed, "it felt like the world was ending. That changes a person." 

“That’s very vague of you.”

He smiled. “Thank you, it is my specialty.”

“Link must get that from you. Boy’s always keepin’ something secret, even when he doesn’t mean to. He doesn’t think to tell people things.”

“I can imagine.”

“Well, if you don’t want to say, I won’t press. Now if you would like to get back to keeping an eye on the baby, I can get back to cooking.”

“Oh, yes, of course,” said Time, who had not actually had the baby out of his line of sight. “Would you like help? One of our companions is a cook.”

Uli gave him a look. “You are taking the baby outside to go fretch them."

She had a point. He was stuck.

After a very long time, Hyrule felt a lot better, and his mind wandered to earlier events. The dark magic around the Shadow Beast wasn’t anything he could do about. What problem could he be solving right now? There was the look on Sky’s face when he found out dying is permanent. Hmm…

As Hyrule starts to leave the dark basement, he steps on something soft.

“Ow!”

“Ahh!!” Hyrule quickly removes his foot; the something soft was a person! “Who’s there?!”

“It’s me.”

Hyrule didn’t recognize that voice.

“Sky.”

Oh, never mind. He did recognize it. “How long have you been here?”

“Longer than you. Please be quieter.”

“Oh sorry,” he whispered. “How are you so quiet??”

“By not making noise.”

Hyrule agreed that was technically true. The best kind of truth. He meant to specify how his breathing was so quiet, but then figured it was being drowned out by the music.

“Why?” he asked, but then realized it wasn’t specific enough. “Why are you here?”

“Recovering from that crash.”

“That was a crash?”

Sky nodded, and then realized it was too dark for him to see that. “Yep. That’s what they sound like.”

“Not in my Hyrule.”

“…Huh. That’s weird. I wonder if Twilight has the same hardware.”

“I’m going to leave now.”

He left the basement and looked around the house for something he could use for his project. Some old clothes that no longer fit, maybe some stuffing, extra buttons, etc.. He felt weird going through Twilight’s stuff. Maybe he should ask what would be okay to use. Cloth was valuable in his time, and he didn’t want to take anything that would be missed.

…Then he remembered what Wind said about the punishment for “defrauding the company” and decided it would be unwise to continue looking. Maybe he’ll ask Twilight or his mom tomorrow. Legend was probably waiting for him.

So he left the house to go look for Legend. He didn’t need to look for long, as Legend and a girl he forgot the name of were both just outside.

“So you feeling better?”

“Yeah, um… sorry about running. Sometimes things get too much, and it feels like I’m running out of memory.”

“What? Memory?” questioned Ilia, who was clearly confused.

“You mean like RAM memory?” asked Legend.

“Yes, that.”

Ilia was still confused. “What does that mean?”

“It’s like…um…” Hyrule paused. How do you explain RAM? He knew what it meant. He _knew it in his soul_ , but how could he put it into words?

“It’s the amount of storage you have available for different processes. If you run out of memory, you get a crash,” explained Legend.

“Um, okay,” said Ilia, who still didn’t understand.

“Yeah, that’s what it feels like. Blocking out senses helps free up memory.”

“Probably should mute the music if you don’t already.”

“You can mute it?”

“Yeah, can’t you?”

“No.”

“Wait what music?”

“Every environment has its own theme. Can you not hear it?” asked Hyrule.

“No,” replied Ilia, realizing that Link probably _wasn’t_ pulling her leg that one time.

Well it sucks you can’t mute it,” said Legend, then he remembered something. “What does your land’s music sound like?”

“Oh, it’s just pure notes. No instruments like this place.”

“Then I have the perfect thing for you.” Legend went into his inventory and pulled out the Timeless Tunic. Ilia didn’t even question how it fit into his bag.

“Where’s a good place for him to change?”

“Probably in Link’s house,” said Ilia.

“No, Sky’s in there, so we should be quiet.”

“Okay. How about the spring? I can close the gate so you can have privacy.”

They raced to the spring so that Hyrule could change. Fortunately, Legend and Hyrule were similar sizes, so it fit just fine. Immediately after putting it on, Hyrule could hear the music change from complex instruments to the simple notes of his own land.

“So what do you think?” said Legend.

“I love it! It sounds like home!”

“You look amazing,” said Ilia. He did. Anyone who radiated as much love for their outfit as Hyrule did couldn’t not look amazing.

Meanwhile, Red was writing a letter to Ezlo. He did _not_ want to go use that mask again if he could help it. If they could get a shrinking spell, that would be much easier. Of course, they wouldn’t be able to deliver this letter until they got to their Hyrule. Well, that’s what he thought at first, but according to the Minish they talked to, the postman can usually be found in the next town over.

He returned to normal size and followed the directions he was given to the neighboring Minish town, also known as the goat barn. Inside, the postman was crouching exactly where the Minish said he would be. Red walked up to him and used the interact button to compel the postman to speak without alerting him that Red was behind him.

“We can just let the goats eat a messy-looking letter like this.”

“Why not just return it to the sender?” asked Red.

“Ah!!” The postman jumped in surprise and stood up.

“I have a letter I need you to deliver,” said Red. He held out the letter for the postman. It was a normal sized envelope, but it contained a letter that was small enough that a Minish could read it comfortably but not too small that it would be hard to dig out.

The postman took the letter. “‘For Ezlo.’ I’m going to have to charge extra to deliver to Minish. 150 Rupees.”

“What? That’s discrimination!”

“It takes longer delivering to people I can’t see, especially since they’re in another time period. I either raise the price or don’t do it at all.”

“Alright,” he grumbled, and reluctantly paid the fee.

“ONWARD TO MAIL!” The postman ran off. Red ran after him, but the moment the postman was out of sight, he was gone. Did he teleport or just unload, he wondered. Is there even a difference? The world may never know.

With that task done, he needed to go back on patrol with the others. He ran through the village and past Twilight’s house to the Ordon spring, where he saw Legend, Hyrule, and Ilia. Hyrule was in a slightly different outfit with that all-too-familiar hat. It suited him.

Legend turned and flinched seeing him. “Hey Four!” Shoot! He was caught!

“Uh hi guys,” said Red.

“So we were heading back to the mayor’s house. Apparently, he has a wrestling pin. You wanna come?”

That sounded like fun. Blue would probably love that. But he should really get back to the others.

…maybe just a 10-minute break.

“Sure! But only for 10 minutes.”

They raced to the Mayor’s house (Legend won) where Warriors and Mayor Po were taking a rest.

Red took a turn wrestling with Ilia, who beat him pretty quickly. She was a lot stronger than she looked, and clearly had more practice than him. Okay, he’ll get back on patrol after he wins one round.

…After he wins two rounds. She was going easy on him that round.

…After he gets a turn wrestling Po.

…After he wins against Po at least once. He was really hard.

…After he wins against Po at least one more time…

They had dinner at Rusl’s and Uli’s house. Uli had prepared food for all of them. When dinner was called, Red quickly excused himself to get the others. After merging, they returned to Twilight’s parent’s house for dinner. Green had elected to control the body until their consciouses merged (or as Blue liked to point it, they died and were replaced by Four).

_Red, I can’t believe you ditched us._

_Hey, I lost track of time! Not my fault!_

_Yeah, doing wrestling! You could’ve invited me at least!_

_And give away our secret Blue?_

_Honestly, I was surprised that no one commented on our sudden change of clothing._

_Yeah, Red, how would you have explained that?_

_Um…by saying it’s none of your business?_

_That’s the spirit!_

_Really Blue? You’re encouraging him?_

_Well, if you think about it, if Red hadn’t gotten us, then one of the other Links would start looking for us. That could’ve turned out worse._

_Yeah I agree._

_Gasp! Blue agrees something I said! I never agree with me!_

_Um… Green, where’s Blue?_

_He’s probably gone. Though I’m still mad._

_What would you have done in his shoes, Green?_

_Not lost track of time._

_…are you sure?_

_Okay maybe not but not for that long!_

_Hypocrite._

_Okay fine. Red, sorry. It’s fine. I think any of us might’ve done the same thing._

_Yay! I’m not in trouble!_

_Green? Where are you?_

_So I’m the last one left._

_Yeah you are._

_Wow, I’m not usually last. Huh… Well, things could have been better, but everything worked out, I guess._

Four sighed in relief. He wasn’t a they anymore.

After dinner, they made makeshift beds inside of Twilight’s treehouse. Just like the other houses, there weren’t 8 guest beds available, but they made themselves comfortable in the available space. Time took out the bottle containing the Shadow Beast to study it. He had played both the Song of Healing and the Song of Storms, but neither had any effect.

Four informed them what happened during his patrol. “So I checked on the Minish in the area. Fortunately, there aren’t any monsters showing up in these woods, however they have been appearing in other parts of Hyrule.”

“Any Shadow Beasts?” asked Time.

Four nodded their head. “The guards have been trying to trap them instead, but it hasn’t been working.”

“That’s a shame,” said Time, studying the one in the bottle. “We’ll learn more when we get to the castle.”

Twilight was staring at the bottle with a haunted expression. The Shadow Beast walked around in circles, occasionally charging toward Time, and hitting its head on the glass and then trying to scratch it. Once it became clear the glass was indestructible, it would give up and start wandering again.

“What do you think they were like before they were cursed?” asked Four. He had been wondering that since the beast was captured. _What are you thinking about? Are you aware of what’s happening? What were you like before?_

“They probably use the same enemy AI, so the original personality could be anything,” said Warriors.

“Do you think they’re aware of what’s happening?” asked Sky.

“Hopefully, nothing,” said Time, “it would be best if they didn’t remember anything at all in this form.”

The rest of the Links were silent.

Twilight clicked his teeth to prepare to use his voice. “Das Schattenreich wird von manchen auch Jenseits ge-nannt... aber in Wahrheit ist es etwas ganz Anderes. Es ist ein friedlicher Ort... So wie eure Welt, wenn das Abendrot am schönsten strahlt. Die Wesen in unserer Welt lebten in diesem Licht ruhig und friedlich, mit reinen Herzen...bis diese finstere Magie in unser Leben trat und alles anders wurde.” He paused. “Aber als Zanto die Macht im Schattenreich an sich riss, wurden wir alle in Wesen der Finsternis verwandelt.”

Most of the group looked at him confused. Not the reaction he was hoping for.

“What did he say?” asked Wind.

Legend was about to speak, but then Time started talking. “I…think he repeated something someone said during his quest.”

“But that wasn’t Japanese,” said Hyrule.

“I’ve had Japanese and English, so quest languages are probably different between all of us. Maybe just stick to sign?” said Four.

Twilight mentally sighed. It was worth a shot. «When they appear in groups, the last one will scream and revive the others.»

Hyrule translated for Legend, who looked at Twilight with a raised eyebrow. “Das ist nicht was du sagtest,” said Legend. Twilight just shook his head.

"What did you say?" asked Hyrule.

"I asked why he didn't say that before," lied Legend.

“And we’re going to be carrying one around with us, so we can’t kill them at all,” lamented Warriors.

Twilight frowned. «They only appeared in situations where the only way to move forward was to kill them all. Bringing in a new one from a different group might do nothing.»

“Either way, let’s not risk it,” said Time.

Wind felt some sympathy for Twilight. He had to deal with relying on good enemy RNG during his quest. Having to deal with that while trying to kill enemies at the same time? That sounded like a nightmare.

“So what are your times?” said Sky, who wanted to talk about something fun before going to bed.

“I defeated Ganondorf in under 12 minutes,” said Time.

“You gonna tell us how?” asked Legend.

Time just smiled. "Four, I need to tell the royal family that if a little boy tells them he defeated the king of evil using state reference manipulation, they have to believe him." Four reluctantly nodded, not sure exactly what that was, though it must be very powerful to get a time that low.

“Fine, old man. Be that way. I’ll start first,” said Legend.

“It all started on a dark and stormy night. My uncle left the house and told me to say inside. Obviously, I followed him to the castle dungeon and found him slumped on the floor. He died in front of me. His last words were ‘Zelda is your… … …’. I have no idea what he was going to tell me.”

“Maybe she’s your destiny?”

“Your sister?”

Legend blanched at that suggestion. “Uh, I never thought about that one. Maybe? I don’t know. It would explain a few things.” His uncle never let him go to Kakariko when the royal family was visiting. He also refused to talk about his parents. Was that why?

Well, now he’ll never know.

“So then I did some wall clipping shenanigans to rescue one of the swordsmiths so they would give me the Tempered Sword. Then I made my way to Ganon’s room and promptly beat his ass in revenge. I got to the Triforce and wished that Ganon was sealed away and that my uncle was alive again. It also took under 12 minutes.”

“Did you ask him what he meant?” asked Time.

“Yeah, but only Zelda and I remembered so he thought I was pulling his leg.” Legend cleared his throat. “So what about you, Hyrule?”

Hyrule jumped at his name being mentioned. “Um…When Ganon kidnapped the princess, I was able to take a shortcut to where she was being held from the graveyard. My quest was technically over once I got there, but I had to get the princess to safety and then defeat Ganon before he noticed she was missing. I’d say it took maybe, 2 minutes and 41 seconds with loads and 2 minutes and 29 seconds without loads.”

“Woah. Under 3 minutes? That’s impressive,” said Four, “My first quest was done in under an hour and 50 minutes.”

“I did under an hour,” said Wind, “but I skipped a lot of dungeons for later. It would have taken roughly 2 hours and 20 minutes without skips.”

“Skips?” asked Warriors.

“You know, when you skip major sequences in your quest. Sometimes there’s a bunch of stuff you’re supposed to do, but if you make it to a room or a loading zone without doing that stuff, it’s like reality will just pretend you did all that anyway,” said Legend. He didn't realize the tempered sword was actually the Master Sword until it was pointed out to him. Somehow, he was to upgrade a sword he never obtained. “I mean, it’s a good idea to go back and do that stuff afterward if you can, but they’re not required.”

“I do not know. I couldn’t avoid participating in battle by clipping through something,” said Warriors, suddenly feeling like the odd man out.

“Sounds like a level-based format. I had an adventure like that,” said Four, “There are less opportunities for major sequence breaks, so longer times are expected.”

“Oh good. I took about 3 hours,” said Warriors, “It was mostly just waiting for text to pass so I could get to the next part.”

“So Wild, how long do you take?” asked Legend.

“Me? I took about 28 minutes and 4 seconds. I woke up, clipped out the cave, and went to grab a shield from a Bokoblin camp so I could do bullet time bounces. Then I went straight to the underground shines to unlock the abilities on my slate. That done, I launched a tree into the air to get on top of a ruined temple so a ghost would give me my paraglider. Once I had that, the invisible walls preventing me from leaving the plateau vanished and I was able to paraglide my way to the castle, I grabbed some weapons and some food in the castle and then wind-bombed my way up to defeat calamity Ganon.”

He paused for a moment. “Once it was defeated, Zelda was able to deal the final blow. It was kind of awkward because apparently she was watching the whole time.”

“Was she impressed?” asked Warriors.

“Oh she better have been,” said Legend.

“Yeah, she was,” replied Wild, smiling.

“Twilight, what about you?” asked Four.

Twilight fiddled with his hands. Not only did he not have as many tricks as Time or Wild, but he took so much longer. _A lot_ longer than anyone else, except maybe Warriors. He put his head in his hands. “2 hours and 54 minutes,” he whispered.

“What was that?”

«2 hours and 54 minutes,» he signed. Some of the Links snickered. «It was a really long quest even with sequences breaks. I don’t have a lot to work with,» he signed frantically trying to defend himself.

“Are you sure? Because I recall an out-of-bounds horse,” said Warriors. “I’m the only one who took longer than that, but to be fair…” he smirked. “I wasn’t even there for some of the battles and that time still counted.”

«There were a lot of dependences. My Hyrule is a lot more put together than you think.»

"It's okay. My second quest took over 3 hours," said Wind. Twilight found that hard to believe.

“I sympathize Twilight,” said Sky. “I also have a lot of dependences. My quest took over 6 hours.”

Twilight felt a wave of relief that was immediately dashed as Sky continued. “Well, it _would_ have taken 6 hours had I not known a way to bypass nearly all of them. Though not through a method I think many of you would be familiar with or have access to.” Sky cleared his throat. “If you want to hear how I defeated the demon king of evil in under an hour and a half, you’re going to have to bear with me, because this will be confusing.”

_Later…_

“So I BIT warped out of bounds and went to the entrance of a mine cart track covered in quick-sand and sunk. I respawned next to a cart with a time shift stone and made my way to escort the cart to the end of the track—”

“Hold on, I’m still confused. What is a title screen?” asked Warriors.

“Warriors, he’s explained this 12 times,” said Time.

“I understand perfectly,” said Wind smugly.

“This is the most fascinating story I’ve ever heard, and I don’t understand any of it,” said Legend, completely enraptured.

Twilight had his head in his hands as he listened. The worst part was he knew exactly what Sky was talking about. His version of the trick wasn’t _quite_ that insane, but he still _had_ it.

“It kind of reminds me of my graveyard shortcut. You do a bunch of seemingly random things that affect reality. It’s not running your quest as code, but it’s close,” said Hyrule.

“You mean arbitrary code execution?” asked Time.

“Yes exactly! You know about that too?”

“Yes, though in my quest I didn’t use that trick because it skipped defeating Ganondorf. I wonder what it would have been like had I actually used it.”

_At the start of the Fallen Timeline…_

Link woke up to the sound of a fairy in his house. Her name was Navi, and she told him that she was going to be his partner and the Deku Tree had summoned him. He nodded, excited that he was finally going to have a fairy. However, he knew he had a much more important task at hand.

The gods wanted him to do something. A quest to save all of Hyrule. A trial that would take him all across the land, risking life and limb facing dangerous foes. Probably something to do with the man on a black horse from his dream. Probably the reason he was seeing himself in 3rd person.

He didn’t want to do that. Fortunately for Link, the goddesses themselves were not the ones who judged whether his quest was over, but a system that they had created as part of the world. This system was not very smart, and he knew exactly how to beat it.

He backflipped off his treehouse and backwalked his way to the maze with the sword. Out of the maze, he collected rupees as quickly as possible, making sure to collect a very particular set of rupees to free up particular spaces in memory. In the shop, he collected the last blue rupee and bought the shield and some deku nuts.

He then went to the boundary of the room with the deku babas and sidehopped back and forth across the boundary to get a very special rock to have a certain memory address. He isn't sure what a memory address is exactly, but he does know what it allows him to do.

He sidehops his way across the map back to the maze entrance. He enters the tunnel to load the room then leaves it. As he leaves he checks the sign before his point of view unlocks while destroying it and backflips over the fence. He makes his way to the rock and picks it up, causing the "camera” to freak out and move far enough away to unload the rock. He runs back to the deku baba room and the camera figures out where he is.

With a free piece of memory in his hands, he angles and moves very precisely to get a very particular angle. Once he has the right angle, he pauses for an instant to prepare for the final move. He shields to drop the free memory and runs into the loading zone, and everything goes black.

King Ganondorf was overcome with a strange feeling. He feel like he was falling in a white void, and briefly his vision when black. Then as soon as it came, it stopped.

“My plans have been foiled.”

“What?” asked Nabooru.

“My plans. They have been foiled. Ruined. Crushed. I have failed.”

“How? And what plans?”

“…I don’t know. I just know it to be true.”

“That doesn’t make sense.”

“Perhaps, but I have never felt more certain of anything in my life.”

"Ganondorf. What plans?" He knew that look. That was not a request.

"Umm… well…"

Meanwhile, the gods were playing Canasta. Farore and Nayru were partners, while Din and Ȩ̴̮̲̝̞̒̚ŕ̶̢̩̹̰̣̉̈́ŗ̷̭͉͙̪̦̌͠ǫ̶̂̽̆r̵̡̲͓̪̜̾͜͠:̶͖̐̔́ ̵̖̫̦͖̄͐Ṙ̷̲̲̄̋̓͠e̷̫̜̗̱̱͂̀f̸̛̩̉é̵̙̎̓r̴̨̗̖̩͊͆̎̃̄͝e̵̝̻̳͐͊̈͐͑̎ņ̶̧̢̩̦͔͂̈́̇̑c̶̠̽͊̋͌͠ę̵̲̤̜̟̾̓̍͊ ̷̡̟̼̝͕̋̃̚n̵̮͉̤̰͂͋̏̅ö̶̘́̏̇̊̄̕t̵̠̤̯̔ ̷̧̡̰̤̜̻̇f̷̞̙͈̰̫͈ọ̴̺̻͗͗̈́̚ṷ̷̝̄̽̈́ņ̸̺̯͕̦̉͑̚ď̶̡̰̗͔̦͊͜ were partners.

While Nayru and Ȩ̴̮̲̝̞̒̚ŕ̶̢̩̹̰̣̉̈́ŗ̷̭͉͙̪̦̌͠ǫ̶̂̽̆r̵̡̲͓̪̜̾͜͠:̶͖̐̔́ ̵̖̫̦͖̄͐Ṙ̷̲̲̄̋̓͠e̷̫̜̗̱̱͂̀f̸̛̩̉é̵̙̎̓r̴̨̗̖̩͊͆̎̃̄͝e̵̝̻̳͐͊̈͐͑̎ņ̶̧̢̩̦͔͂̈́̇̑c̶̠̽͊̋͌͠ę̵̲̤̜̟̾̓̍͊ ̷̡̟̼̝͕̋̃̚n̵̮͉̤̰͂͋̏̅ö̶̘́̏̇̊̄̕t̵̠̤̯̔ ̷̧̡̰̤̜̻̇f̷̞̙͈̰̫͈ọ̴̺̻͗͗̈́̚ṷ̷̝̄̽̈́ņ̸̺̯͕̦̉͑̚ď̶̡̰̗͔̦͊͜ counting up the points after the current round. Din checked the monitor showing the current incarnation of the Hero’s Spirit. “He has done it!” Din shouted.

“Already?” said Nayru, just finishing up the counting.

Farore checked to see what Din was looking and smiled. Her hero had completed his quest. Technically. From a certain point of view.

“How long did he take?” asked Ȩ̴̮̲̝̞̒̚ŕ̶̢̩̹̰̣̉̈́ŗ̷̭͉͙̪̦̌͠ǫ̶̂̽̆r̵̡̲͓̪̜̾͜͠:̶͖̐̔́ ̵̖̫̦͖̄͐Ṙ̷̲̲̄̋̓͠e̷̫̜̗̱̱͂̀f̸̛̩̉é̵̙̎̓r̴̨̗̖̩͊͆̎̃̄͝e̵̝̻̳͐͊̈͐͑̎ņ̶̧̢̩̦͔͂̈́̇̑c̶̠̽͊̋͌͠ę̵̲̤̜̟̾̓̍͊ ̷̡̟̼̝͕̋̃̚n̵̮͉̤̰͂͋̏̅ö̶̘́̏̇̊̄̕t̵̠̤̯̔ ̷̧̡̰̤̜̻̇f̷̞̙͈̰̫͈ọ̴̺̻͗͗̈́̚ṷ̷̝̄̽̈́ņ̸̺̯͕̦̉͑̚ď̶̡̰̗͔̦͊͜.

“Under 7 minutes and 10 seconds,” said Farore.

“He actually did it,” whispered Ȩ̴̮̲̝̞̒̚ŕ̶̢̩̹̰̣̉̈́ŗ̷̭͉͙̪̦̌͠ǫ̶̂̽̆r̵̡̲͓̪̜̾͜͠:̶͖̐̔́ ̵̖̫̦͖̄͐Ṙ̷̲̲̄̋̓͠e̷̫̜̗̱̱͂̀f̸̛̩̉é̵̙̎̓r̴̨̗̖̩͊͆̎̃̄͝e̵̝̻̳͐͊̈͐͑̎ņ̶̧̢̩̦͔͂̈́̇̑c̶̠̽͊̋͌͠ę̵̲̤̜̟̾̓̍͊ ̷̡̟̼̝͕̋̃̚n̵̮͉̤̰͂͋̏̅ö̶̘́̏̇̊̄̕t̵̠̤̯̔ ̷̧̡̰̤̜̻̇f̷̞̙͈̰̫͈ọ̴̺̻͗͗̈́̚ṷ̷̝̄̽̈́ņ̸̺̯͕̦̉͑̚ď̶̡̰̗͔̦͊͜.

“Wow, that was very quick. Let me just check…” said Nayru, handing the cards over to Ȩ̴̮̲̝̞̒̚ŕ̶̢̩̹̰̣̉̈́ŗ̷̭͉͙̪̦̌͠ǫ̶̂̽̆r̵̡̲͓̪̜̾͜͠:̶͖̐̔́ ̵̖̫̦͖̄͐Ṙ̷̲̲̄̋̓͠e̷̫̜̗̱̱͂̀f̸̛̩̉é̵̙̎̓r̴̨̗̖̩͊͆̎̃̄͝e̵̝̻̳͐͊̈͐͑̎ņ̶̧̢̩̦͔͂̈́̇̑c̶̠̽͊̋͌͠ę̵̲̤̜̟̾̓̍͊ ̷̡̟̼̝͕̋̃̚n̵̮͉̤̰͂͋̏̅ö̶̘́̏̇̊̄̕t̵̠̤̯̔ ̷̧̡̰̤̜̻̇f̷̞̙͈̰̫͈ọ̴̺̻͗͗̈́̚ṷ̷̝̄̽̈́ņ̸̺̯͕̦̉͑̚ď̶̡̰̗͔̦͊͜ to shuffle them. Farore’s smirk did not leave her face.

“Hold on! He couldn’t have completed his quest! Ganondorf has not been defeated! He was supposed to create 2 different timelines, but he never so much as touched the Master Sword!”

“But he has completed his quest. You heard Din,” said Farore.

Nayru glared at her. “You. You know something don’t you?”

“I know that the hero has completed his quest.”

“He completed nothing.”

“He has completed his quest.”

Nayru stomped toward the observatory overlooking Hyrule.

“What are you doing?” asked Farore.

“I am calling Hylia.”

“Ugh. Why?” grumbled Ȩ̴̮̲̝̞̒̚ŕ̶̢̩̹̰̣̉̈́ŗ̷̭͉͙̪̦̌͠ǫ̶̂̽̆r̵̡̲͓̪̜̾͜͠:̶͖̐̔́ ̵̖̫̦͖̄͐Ṙ̷̲̲̄̋̓͠e̷̫̜̗̱̱͂̀f̸̛̩̉é̵̙̎̓r̴̨̗̖̩͊͆̎̃̄͝e̵̝̻̳͐͊̈͐͑̎ņ̶̧̢̩̦͔͂̈́̇̑c̶̠̽͊̋͌͠ę̵̲̤̜̟̾̓̍͊ ̷̡̟̼̝͕̋̃̚n̵̮͉̤̰͂͋̏̅ö̶̘́̏̇̊̄̕t̵̠̤̯̔ ̷̧̡̰̤̜̻̇f̷̞̙͈̰̫͈ọ̴̺̻͗͗̈́̚ṷ̷̝̄̽̈́ņ̸̺̯͕̦̉͑̚ď̶̡̰̗͔̦͊͜.

“She doesn’t need a reason to call her girlfriend,” said Farore.

“She is not my girlfriend,” spat Nayru.

“Your ex-girlfriend, then.”

Hylia appeared. “Oh golden goddesses, for what cause am I graced with your presence?”

“Oh I am not ‘gracing’ you with my presence,” said Ȩ̴̮̲̝̞̒̚ŕ̶̢̩̹̰̣̉̈́ŗ̷̭͉͙̪̦̌͠ǫ̶̂̽̆r̵̡̲͓̪̜̾͜͠:̶͖̐̔́ ̵̖̫̦͖̄͐Ṙ̷̲̲̄̋̓͠e̷̫̜̗̱̱͂̀f̸̛̩̉é̵̙̎̓r̴̨̗̖̩͊͆̎̃̄͝e̵̝̻̳͐͊̈͐͑̎ņ̶̧̢̩̦͔͂̈́̇̑c̶̠̽͊̋͌͠ę̵̲̤̜̟̾̓̍͊ ̷̡̟̼̝͕̋̃̚n̵̮͉̤̰͂͋̏̅ö̶̘́̏̇̊̄̕t̵̠̤̯̔ ̷̧̡̰̤̜̻̇f̷̞̙͈̰̫͈ọ̴̺̻͗͗̈́̚ṷ̷̝̄̽̈́ņ̸̺̯͕̦̉͑̚ď̶̡̰̗͔̦͊͜. His fire hair blazed and his shadow grew longer.

“Of course not. That’s why I didn’t address you,” retorted Hylia.

“Now, now, there is no need to squabble. There are important matters to discuss.”

“The hero has completed his quest,” said Farore cheerfully.

“No, he hasn’t.”

“I…don’t understand,” said Hylia.

“Just— look.” Nayru gestured to the observation deck for Hylia to see. They all watched the recording of Link forcing reality to play the credits sequence.

“This…this is completely wrong. How did this happen?” Hylia asked. Nayru turned toward Farore with an accusatory expression.

“What are you looking at me for?” asked Farore innocently.

Nayru pointed her finger right in Farore face. “I know you are behind this. I don’t know how, but I know this is your fault.”

Farore put her hands to her collarbone and feigned innocence. “Oh I don’t know what you mean. I have done nothing wrong,” she said, still smirking.

“Yeah,” grumbled Ȩ̴̮̲̝̞̒̚ŕ̶̢̩̹̰̣̉̈́ŗ̷̭͉͙̪̦̌͠ǫ̶̂̽̆r̵̡̲͓̪̜̾͜͠:̶͖̐̔́ ̵̖̫̦͖̄͐Ṙ̷̲̲̄̋̓͠e̷̫̜̗̱̱͂̀f̸̛̩̉é̵̙̎̓r̴̨̗̖̩͊͆̎̃̄͝e̵̝̻̳͐͊̈͐͑̎ņ̶̧̢̩̦͔͂̈́̇̑c̶̠̽͊̋͌͠ę̵̲̤̜̟̾̓̍͊ ̷̡̟̼̝͕̋̃̚n̵̮͉̤̰͂͋̏̅ö̶̘́̏̇̊̄̕t̵̠̤̯̔ ̷̧̡̰̤̜̻̇f̷̞̙͈̰̫͈ọ̴̺̻͗͗̈́̚ṷ̷̝̄̽̈́ņ̸̺̯͕̦̉͑̚ď̶̡̰̗͔̦͊͜ ,“I mean if anyone’s done anything wrong it would be Hylia.”

Din rolled her eyes and smiled. “Oh come on deary,” she said in a sweet tone, “I doubt the music composer is at fault.”

Hylia ignored the god and the bickering. “Regardless, I will have to create a whole new timeline and redo this period. Thank you for bringing this to my attention,” she glared at Ȩ̴̮̲̝̞̒̚ŕ̶̢̩̹̰̣̉̈́ŗ̷̭͉͙̪̦̌͠ǫ̶̂̽̆r̵̡̲͓̪̜̾͜͠:̶͖̐̔́ ̵̖̫̦͖̄͐Ṙ̷̲̲̄̋̓͠e̷̫̜̗̱̱͂̀f̸̛̩̉é̵̙̎̓r̴̨̗̖̩͊͆̎̃̄͝e̵̝̻̳͐͊̈͐͑̎ņ̶̧̢̩̦͔͂̈́̇̑c̶̠̽͊̋͌͠ę̵̲̤̜̟̾̓̍͊ ̷̡̟̼̝͕̋̃̚n̵̮͉̤̰͂͋̏̅ö̶̘́̏̇̊̄̕t̵̠̤̯̔ ̷̧̡̰̤̜̻̇f̷̞̙͈̰̫͈ọ̴̺̻͗͗̈́̚ṷ̷̝̄̽̈́ņ̸̺̯͕̦̉͑̚ď̶̡̰̗͔̦͊͜, “since apparently someone isn’t very good at finding bugs.”

“Hey!! How was I supposed know he could do that?!” His hair burned hotter, and his shadow grew to occupy every surface, absorbing all the light in the room such that only his face was illuminated.

“Isn’t it your job to find out!?” Hylia glowed in a golden light, reflecting off her waterfall hair in a sight both colorful and blinding.

“Enough!” shouted Nayru. A lightning bolt struck right between the two of them. Hylia stopped glowing, and his shadow retreated to the point it was no longer visible. “It doesn’t matter whose fault it is. All that matters it that it is fixed. Now get on with it!”

Nayru gave her sister one last death glare and vanished, the game abandoned. Hylia and Ȩ̴̮̲̝̞̒̚ŕ̶̢̩̹̰̣̉̈́ŗ̷̭͉͙̪̦̌͠ǫ̶̂̽̆r̵̡̲͓̪̜̾͜͠:̶͖̐̔́ ̵̖̫̦͖̄͐Ṙ̷̲̲̄̋̓͠e̷̫̜̗̱̱͂̀f̸̛̩̉é̵̙̎̓r̴̨̗̖̩͊͆̎̃̄͝e̵̝̻̳͐͊̈͐͑̎ņ̶̧̢̩̦͔͂̈́̇̑c̶̠̽͊̋͌͠ę̵̲̤̜̟̾̓̍͊ ̷̡̟̼̝͕̋̃̚n̵̮͉̤̰͂͋̏̅ö̶̘́̏̇̊̄̕t̵̠̤̯̔ ̷̧̡̰̤̜̻̇f̷̞̙͈̰̫͈ọ̴̺̻͗͗̈́̚ṷ̷̝̄̽̈́ņ̸̺̯͕̦̉͑̚ď̶̡̰̗͔̦͊͜ left as well to fix the timeline, leaving Din and Farore alone.

Din sighed. “Why can’t those two just get along?”

Farore shrugged. “Wanna play Go Fish?”

“Sure!”

A new timeline was created, one where the hero would travel to the future to defeat Ganondorf, thus creating two other timelines: the one he returned to, and the one he was forced to leave behind. (Farore could not help but giggle in satisfaction when the hero of these two new timelines completed his quest in under 12 minutes without even turning into an adult.)

In the fallen timeline, as they would call it, King Ganondorf’s plans to ruin Hyrule were foiled, even though he did not know how. The flags and variables that signaled his defeat said as much, though there was no child who had witnessed the effects of his rule seven years in the future. Thus, for his defeat to be true, and it was, his plotting could not begin. Nabooru apologized to the Great Deku Tree, the Gorons, and Jabu Jabu for the trouble Ganondorf had caused them. He never mobilized forces against Hyrule, was never almost executed, nor fought a child in a teenager’s body. Overall, that era of history was remembered as a time when nothing particularly interesting happened.

The timeline _would_ have been free of an evil known as Ganondorf, had something not gone horribly wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Most of this chapter was written before Age of Calamity came out. Wind’s reasoning about how Wild couldn’t have had a quest before he died was SUPPOSED to be wrong! But jokes on me! 
> 
> I based Link from the fallen timeline on this run: https://www.speedrun.com/oot/run/y2d29w9z
> 
> I want to thank zeldalegends.net for their text dumps of twilight princess in English and German. Twilight's dialogue was ripped straight from them, which was ripped straight from the game.


End file.
